Hebephilia is the strong, persistent sexual interest by adults in pubescent children who are in early adolescence, typically ages 11–14 and showing Tanner stages 2 to 3 of physical development.
Pedophilia is being sexually attracted primarily or exclusively to pre-pubescent children.
I had an ex who, at 30 years old, still found himself attracted to 13 year old teens. He insisted that some 13 year olds were more mature for their age, that they are able to make their own decisions, and that the only thing stopping him was the legality of it.. is this okay? No, I would argue it is most certainly not okay. But its not pedophilia.
By calling out hebephiles as pedophiles, people are diminishing the damage that hebephilia can cause for a child that is going through puberty. And the hebephile likely won't take it seriously, because it's not what they are. They will laugh it off and say "im not attracted to 4 year olds". Calling them out as hebephiles helps reinforce that hebophilia is a bad thing in its own right.
I see people getting angry when the word is brought up, rolling their eyes and saying things like "I call them as I see them" but I disagree. I dont think that calling them what they actually are is in their favor. Sleeping with 14 year olds when you are a full grown adult is harmful and disgusting. We don't need to accuse them of being something they aren't, because what they ARE is bad enouph.
Actually, it's ephebophilia, or possibly, hebephilia, depending on the age range being discussed. Pedophilia is not just an attraction to anyone under 18, it is specifically the attraction to pre-pubescent people, so like 10 and under. Hebephilia is the attraction to people about it in the 11 to 14 or 15 range, and ephebophilia covers the age range from there to early adulthood (18 or 19). Pedophilia is not the same as ephebophilia nor hebephilia, not in definition nor in terms of morality. Obviously most people would consider pedophilia to be bad, but the opposition to hebephilia and especially the opposition to ephebophilia are more of a recent cultural phenomenon, mostly focused in the West. Ephebophilia is perfectly natural and occurs in a sizable segment of the population, and in fact most countries even still today reflect this in their age of consent laws. For example, in about a third of US states the age of consent is 16, and in much of Europe it is 15 or even 14. Throughout most of history, marriages have occurred in this age range. It's only been in recent times that ephebophilia and hebephilia have started to be looked down upon. Now, in the case of hebephilia, to be fair, this may be a sign of the times simply changing. BUT, in the case of ephebophilia, it is nothing more than modern prudishness, which is ironic considering the concurrent "sexual revolution" that is leading people to be more open about every other sexual topic except for ephebophilia, in which case the trends are moving backwards, and quite frankly this is simply hypocrisy and nothing more.
seriously this is getting boring already like ok i just wanna get rid of the anxiety, a hebephile or not, it doesnt matter as i know who i am, i know i wont ever hurt a child, i know im no sex abuser. i just want the anxiety to go away, im not afraid of how people will look at me. in worst case of me being a hebephile, i will just live far away with my dogs and make sure i get the professional help i need but for fuck sake i dont want this anxiety as i am tired of it
Something I've been wondering for a while, most of the pedophiles or pedo sympathizers I've seen were either extremely auth right or Twitter progressives. I've only seen maybe one libertarian saying that the age of consent should be lowered and I'm pretty sure it was a joke. Is this just a smear to make libertarianism look bad?
Im 16, i have always felt sexually attracted to girls my age or older, but there are some cases where i felt sexually attracted for 13 year old girls. I never really thought it was a primary thing, and i still like to think it isn't. I've suffered from HOCD for the past two weeks and my libido was gone, so i couldn't hard to girls, yet when i saw one of those 13 year old ( Yeah, i don't feel this for all 13 year old girls, except for some that somewhat clicked, i dont really understand why ) it happened, and it's still happening, and i dont want it to, i mean, they dont even have a defined body yet, and they're faces look like child ones. So, if my libido was gone, why did this happened, exactly when it shouldn't haveAll this started around my late 15 year old, they were probably 12 at that time (i dont know if that matters) I've done some disgusting things, and i didn't really care at the time because i thought i was at the age where "sexual stuff happen".
I dont really know what to do, i dont think i have any psychologists/therapists where i live, and if there are im afraid they would probably report me, or i would get to prison or something. If this shit doesn't disappear, i"ll probably consider suicide ( but then i think about my family and im afraid to do it, because i love them and wouldn't want them to suffer because of me). Aren't there some meds to completely eliminate my libido or something, i mean, anything that makes me not get sexually aroused for the rest of my life ?
Please, help me 😢
I am a 16M and currently on no medication. I’ve known that I am a hebephile for 3+ years and, let’s just say that it’s about time that I need help. However, I can’t get help from psychologists because I will definitely be reported. I am currently not a danger to myself or to anyone else and I have never hurt anyone.
Is there a medical solution for me? I don’t mind getting rid of my sex drive for the rest of my life, but I’m afraid it may result in unwanted side effects.
Thank you in advance
When we wanted to go to the Moon, we combined our efforts and did it in just a few decades and with far more limited technology than we have now.
If in 2019 all of the world's countries suddenly decided to combine their efforts and research why it is that in some people's brains, they're attracted to kids, how long do you think it would take for us to figure out the cause of the problem and then to solve it? But this will never happen because not a single university, government or non-profit institution will ever want to fund the research for that.
We don't have anyone who is willing to actually address and tackle the difficult issues, let alone anyone with power and influence.
Here's part of an email conversation I had with a psychologist about male preferences for adolescent girls. I refute a biological argument that is a maladaptive preference and defend the view that it's normal for men to find adolescent girls highly desirable.
Hello and thanks for your quick reply.
I've read over the attachment and found a few errors that I'd like to explain to you.
Firstly, the figure of 19 as the average age of first reproduction for prehistoric girls is a bit high. The problem is that most modern HG societies aren't really living in the same way our prehistoric ancestors did. They live in poor territories because the most productive areas are now occupied by states and civilisations. They have harsh lives and poor diets which leads the girls not beginning to ovulate until an abnormally late age. In healthy, properly nourished HG societies the average age of a girl's first pregnancy is a bit lower at about 17 and this is presumably the way it was for prehistoric people.
The second big error that struck me was concerning Kramer's figures for the reproductive success for girls given the age they start reproducing. The claim is that because girls who start reproducing in early adolescence are less reproductively successful than those who start in late adolescence, men who preferred the younger group would be less reproductively successful themselves and become a minority in the population. This is really a very big mathematical error because it presumes that a girl would start reproducing at the age a man "attaches" himself to her. This is clearly not true as we already know that the typical age of a girl's first pregnancy is late adolescence. A man may begin a sexual relationship with a girl in early adolescence but she wouldn't typically fall pregnant until late adolescence.
The fact that girls who start reproducing in early adolescence are the reproductively least successful doesn't mean that men who have preferences for them will become a minority in the population but rather that girls who start reproducing in early adolescence will become a minority in the population. A prehistoric girl that started reproducing in early adolescence would have left behind fewer offspring than a girl that started reproducing in late adolescence so that in the long run girls that start reproducing in late adolescence would come to dominate in the population. This is exactly what is observed. As I have
... keep reading on reddit ➡Hi everyone... throwaway account for obvious reasons,
Lately, I've been having terrible problems with (what I hope to god) is POCD. I've dealt with OCD in the past (always pure-O, harm themed mostly) but have recently stumbled on this new theme that is legitimately making me fear for my life and question whether I deserve happiness etc. In fact, at this point I'm about 75% sure that I might be an actual pedophile (or hebephile) and this is causing me *immense* distress. It all started a few weeks ago when I woke up with the random thought "what if I am actually a pedophile?" I should note I have always been attracted to people my own age (24M). This first subtheme had to do with actual children (e.g. "am I attracted to this 8 year old") but I was pretty quickly able to shut this down, as I am definitely not attracted. This is where things start to get complicated...
My OCD brain decided to examine what ages I actually am attracted to, kind of playing this game with testing the upper and lower bounds. Intrusively, my brain would "propose" sexual thoughts with people of different ages and gauge my sexual reaction to them. To my terror, I realized that in some cases I am attracted to teenagers as young as 15 (you have no idea how hard that is to write). I have since then become totally obsessed with this and spent countless hours googling for information (this is probably feeding the OCD, if thats what it even is) and can't stop thinking about how this makes me a broken person. It is only made worse by the fact that now I've started to have fantasies about this that (I think) are actually sexually interesting. I definitely do not want these fantasies, but I can't help but acknowledge that I'm not totally disgusted by them! I read online that if you have *any* sexual fantasies about someone underage, you are a danger to society, which terrifies me even more. I've also read that many real pedophiles feel immense guilt and depression over their attraction, which ruins the typical defense of "since you're worried about it, its definitely OCD." I have no idea what to do... I know this isn't what I wanted out of life, and I don't want to be a social leper. I know this is total reassurance seeking, but I basically don't know where to turn anymore...
This distinction isn't meaningful and is just used to set up things-that-are-worse-than-paedophilia and so to be some attempt to justify it. They're effectively code words for paedophilia, and are an attempt to introduce some nuance that doesn't actually exist. Every time the word paedophile appears on reddit, you get a mob of people arguing (not that they're defending anything, it's just that they're 'intellectually interested') that it's not paedophilia, it's hebephilia, ephebophloobia, or whatever other absurd terms they have rustled up. They'll trot out arguments about sexual relationships with youths throughout history and try to employ largely irrelevant biological arguments. It's all fucking gross (and illegal) and needs to be dropped CMV.
Im 16, i have always felt sexually attracted to girls my age or older, but there are some cases where i felt sexually attracted for 13 year old girls. I never really thought it was a primary thing, and i still like to think it isn't. I've suffered from HOCD for the past two weeks and my libido was gone, so i couldn't hard to girls, yet when i saw one of those 13 year old ( Yeah, i don't feel this for all 13 year old girls, except for some that somewhat clicked, i dont really understand why ) it happened, and it's still happening, and i dont want it to, i mean, they dont even have a defined body yet, and they're faces look like child ones. So, if my libido was gone, why did this happened, exactly when it shouldn't haveAll this started around my late 15 year old, they were probably 12 at that time (i dont know if that matters) I've done some disgusting things, and i didn't really care at the time because i thought i was at the age where "sexual stuff happen".
I dont really know what to do, i dont think i have any psychologists/therapists where i live, and if there are im afraid they would probably report me, or i would get to prison or something. If this shit doesn't disappear, i"ll probably consider suicide ( but then i think about my family and im afraid to do it, because i love them and wouldn't want them to suffer because of me). Aren't there some meds to completely eliminate my libido or something, i mean, anything that makes me not get sexually aroused for the rest of my life ?
Please, help me 😢
Im 16, i have always felt sexually attracted to girls my age or older, but there are some cases where i felt sexually attracted for 13 year old girls. I never really thought it was a primary thing, and i still like to think it isn't. I've suffered from HOCD for the past two weeks and my libido was gone, so i couldn't hard to girls, yet when i saw one of those 13 year old ( Yeah, i don't feel this for all 13 year old girls, except for some that somewhat clicked, i dont really understand why ) it happened, and it's still happening, and i dont want it to, i mean, they dont even have a defined body yet, and they're faces look like child ones. So, if my libido was gone, why did this happened, exactly when it shouldn't have ? All this started around my late 15 year old, they were probably 12 at that time (i dont know if that matters) I've done some disgusting things, and i didn't really care at the time because i thought i was at the age where "sexual stuff happen".
I dont really know what to do, i dont think i have any psychologists/therapists where i live, and if there are im afraid they would probably report me, or i would get to prison or something. If this shit doesn't disappear, i"ll probably consider suicide ( but then i think about my family and im afraid to do it, because i love them and wouldn't want them to suffer because of me). Aren't there some meds to completely eliminate my libido or something, i mean, anything that makes me not get sexually aroused for the rest of my life ?
Please, help me 😢
