Hear'say Puns

They had a long conversation about bark.

Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.

I was born with mine

I originally posted this in r/MaliciousCompliance, but several commenters thought it would be good here as well. I hope this isn't a re-run for too many of you.

This was years ago when my son was starting middle school. I was transporting him and a group of his new friends. One of the friends was French, and spoke French at home. My son mentioned that I had taken French in high school, and so one of his friends asked me to say something in French and see if French girl could understand me.

Before I go on, a note on parenting style: we joke around with our kids all the time. I know that not all parents joke with their children; some of my kids' friends enjoyed to a dad who makes a joke, and some would look at me like I grew a second head.

So I said to the French girl, «quelque chose». Immediately the friends turned to French girl and asked "What did he say?"

I waited, wondering whether she would join my joke.

A sly smile crept across her face as she said, "he said...something". The rest of the trip, the friends tried to convince her to reveal what it was that I had said. «quelque chose» is the French phrase for "something".

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with U.

"Oh, it's the peanuts.

They're complimentary."

r/dadjokes

She wasn't Karen about any opinion but her own.

Lettuce Turnip the Beet!

A lot

Well, I had been on the scene and disagree with that.

To me it looked like a mincident

I think, “That’s odd.”

He was less proud when she explained its because she only comes once a year.

Dan, sing Queen!

It's fucking roaaaaaaaar!

Just eat around them

It's Britney bench

"Job opening!"

... "That's the phone-iest ringtone I've ever heard!"