A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
There’s a Bounty on my head [X-Post: r/IndiaSocial]
A book just fell on my head
I only have my shelf to blame.
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Once the home intruder entered our bedroom, my wife grabbed a bottle of perfume and hit him on the head.
She thought that might knock some scents into him.
While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
What do you call a man with gravy and potatoes on his head?
What do you call a woman balancing a pint of beer on her head playing pool?
My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard...
...but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn
What do you call a T-Rex with a bump on its head ?
What do meth heads leave on your voicemail?
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.
What flower does everyone have on their head?
My wife told me she's slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer !
Don't worry guys, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
What was written on the back of Mike Pence’s head?
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
What’s green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on to your head?
Daughter asked, “Why am I named Rose?” Its because a rose landed on you shortly after you were born. My other daughter asked, “ Why am I named Daisy?” It is because a daisy landed on your head after you were born.
My son asked, “ Why is my name Richard?”
Sat at the PC gaming last night and a bloody book hit me on the head!
I only have my shelf to blame!
Saw an accident at a farm and then noticed two young sheep charging there with sirens on their heads.
They were the lamb-ulance
I've just bought a bottle of head lice treatment but there's no instructions on how to use it.
It's left me scratching my head to be honest.
What makes music on your head?
I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
An ambulance! He's got a car on his head!
The other day I saw a duck standing on top of another duck’s head.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?
My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...
What did the fish say when it hit its head on the concrete wall?
Girlfriend, my dog and I went hiking today and on the way up the mountain there was a big bee buzzing around my head.
So I said “Bee-gone” and my girlfriend shook her head. Best feeling ever.
My daughter put her eye patch on my girlfriend's head like a horn.
Who knew she was able to breed unicornias
What do you call a woman that plays pool while balancing a pint on her head?
Beertrix Potter
(The 'Burnadebt' joke from last night reminded me that my dad told me both those jokes about 25 years ago! Definitely using them if I ever end up being a dad.)
So today I fell asleep on the toilet and my two sons love to pretend they are cowboys they saw I was asleep and they put something on my head
When I woke up I realized that there was a bounty on my head
A book falls on Sean Connery's head
"Well, I've only got my shelf to blame"
Why the monkey put a steak on his head?
He thought he was a grilla.
A book fell on my head today.
A book fell on my head...
I only have my shelf to blame
I had a book fall on my head today,
I only have my shelf to blame.
A book just fell on my head.
I only have my shelf to blame.
A book fell on my head yesterday
I guess I only have my shelf to blame
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
a book just fell on my head...
i've only got my shelf to blame....
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"
A book fell on my head.
I've only got my shelf to blame.
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