Going To Bed Puns

Come on, honey. We haven't done it all year!

Told her I would sleep on it

Someone wake me up when September ends

It was a boycot.

I'll probably just buy them one from the store

Just four sheets and goggles.

EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com

you know the drill

I told her I wanted to wake up on time

I said, "A-parent-ly".

What's the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on

giggles ensue

It's an air-rested development.

Love, Dad

She was in bed before me and I yanked the covers off her when I got in bed. She threatened to cut me off for a month...

"I haven't gotten laid all year, what's one more month?"

The other night, my mum and I were sat watching television like any other night. My Dad comes upstairs and begins whispering something over and over. At first I thought he might be looking for something, but he came in to the living room saying the same thing. "ittanight", "ittanight". Until my mom with a puzzled look, asked what he was doing. He looked at us with a devilish grin and says "Just calling ittanight".

I told her I need to sleep on it first

They put on their Piagets!