My step mom comin through with the spice girl puns
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears
Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .
People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.
Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
I ran into this vegan girl who said she knew me
I had to tell her I'd never met herbivore.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
I once went on a date with a girl called Simile.
I don't know what I metaphor.
Why can't you feel anything for a pretty girl named anne?
Because all you get is the Anne Aesthetic
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
I once knew a girl who married a Chinese.
She had to Chang her last name.
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
Hey girl!! Are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you everyday.
I made a girl in a wheelchair laugh today.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
What did the group of girls say when they went into the unfinished singles bar?
A girl approached me today at a restaurant and asked if I was single...
I said YES. And she said "Cool' and took the chair to her table for her boyfriend.
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....
so my drummer friend and her partner just had triplets. Girls. Their names?
Anna One, Anna Two, Anna 1-2-3.
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
A girl asked me if I was antisocial....
I said I don't care if others are social as long as they leave me out of it
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don’t want to get qwerties.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
What did the father say to his trans girl child?
Why do white girls travel in odd number groups?
Cuz they literally can’t even
Girls with a passion for eating fashion
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up?
Because they have no balls to scratch!
The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
I went on a blind date with a vegan girl.
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
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