Germersheim Puns

Als Vorsichtsmaßnahme müssen sie noch bis zu 15 Tagen in Quarantäne. Link

Hi, der Titel sagt wahrscheinlich schon alles. Vielleicht jemand hat eine Erfahrung mit einer diese Städte und kann mir Ratschläge geben?:) Ich will mein Sprachniveau verbessern und das deutsche Lebensstils, sozusagen, kennenlernen.

This is the closest sub I found. :P Does anybody have any recommendations for fun things to do in the evening within say 30 minutes of Germersheim by train or car? I'm going to be there later this month for work but I'm only going to be available at nights. Ideally things that would be safe to do alone or with one coworker. Or the 19th we'll be in Frankfurt if there's anything specifically going on that day. Vielen dank!

A new BamBuk model, the PedelecMobil, will debut at the special bike show in Germersheim on Saturday. http://bambuk.de/design.html exm.nr/23HwOkB

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Automatic translation with Google Translate:

>Doctors who can no longer do anything for their patients and nurses who pack corona deaths in body bags: The situation is becoming more and more dramatic in the intensive care units.
>
>Volker Moog walks quickly across the corridor of intensive care unit 1 of the Südpfalzklinik in Kandel. The chief doctor is very concerned: Almost all 21 intensive care beds are occupied. In a few days he will not be able to accept any more patients. "The incidences are increasing every day, it is irreversible and we will have situations like we had in Italy and France," he says. "We are moving towards a disaster."
>
>The clinic actually has eight more intensive care beds at its locations in Kandel and Germersheim. But they cannot be used. The reason: there is a lack of staff. The shortage actually worsened during the pandemic. (...)
>
>Nurse Marie Grube puts on special protective clothing before going to a Covid patient in the treatment room. "It is slowly but surely tiring. There is an increased workload and it is no longer fun." Attending Moog can only watch helplessly as more and more nurses gradually reduce their work, leave the ward or even leave the house - because of the enormous demands of Covid. (...)
>
>So far, 52 Covid patients have died in the Mainz University Hospital. The situation is currently very critical for two more, says Bodenstein. "We sometimes have to watch how, despite intensive medical treatments, organs of Covid patients gradually tip like dominoes and people die. This also affects younger people with parents or children waiting at home." There are also employees who couldn't cope with such situations and no longer work in intensive care medicine. (...)
>
>His colleague Bodenstein nods. "We now have a good vaccine. The vaccine can break chains of infection in the early phase and significantly reduce the severity of the disease in sick people." And Blessing appeals: "I can only ask everyone: Please get vaccinated. Many of my colleagues are exhausted. My team and I don't want to be here again next year and perhaps have to mourn the 200,000th corona death." Then both of them go to the isolation ward for the corona patients and the door closes behind them.

Source: https://www.tagesschau.de/inland/gesellschaft/intensivmedizin-103.html [German]

So the bad

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

They were cooked in Greece.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!