No idea why the school hired him.
Guten Dog!
I asked him if he likes those dots that go over certain vowels.
He replied, "Umm, lots!"
German kids are always Kinder
Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.
so here goes...
(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)
daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?
me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?
daughter: elizabeth-gramma.
me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?
(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)
daughter: don't know, who?
me: my mum.
(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)
7 of the languages is 10 out of 10 but my German is 9
She didn’t seem interested, so I asked...
Does the Aurora BoreyouAlice?
Microsoft didn't want to confuse the Germans when they asked for Windows Nein.
Then he shoots into his invisible conversation mode
G1: I would like to buy a Windows 9.
G2: You mean Windows 10?
G1: Nein, Windows 9.
G2: 9?
G1: 9.
G2: Then what would you like?
G1: . . .
*Note: If this was all in one language the mix up probably wouldn't happen, but i wanted to share a nice little chuckle.
(This joke just deserved a more catchy title, sorry for the mess.)
Every Tuesday growing up, we had German sausages and sauerkraut for dinner - my dad's favorite. Since I can remember, my dad has told this joke and never misses a chance telling it till this day:
"You know kids, it's not the sausage that makes you fat, it's the sauce!"
Both my younger sister and l looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and thought - why is he telling this joke every single time.. it doesnt make sense! There is no sauce here! Only fried sausages, sauerkraut and potatoes. In fact, where is the goddamn sauce, we could need it. This dish is dry as shit! My poor mom shrugged her shoulders, seemingly just as confused.
When i was about 11-12, I caught up on my dad's hinting and eye contact after the punch line.. he wanted me to get the joke so bad at this point lol. I had a moment, as they say. Oh... OOHH. BOOM. Omg the "SAUCE"!! From the sausage.. makes some people fat.. as in pregnant.. Mind. Blown.
My sister, around 8 at that time, had a few hundred more sausage dinners to "ketchup" ;) I'm not doing so bad myself, 'ey?
Edit: For the slow people out there, this joke is about sausage=penis, sauce=sperm and getting fat=pregnant. Did you have your moment too?? Admittingly, the joke works better in my native language, but you get the idea.
Friend: do you speak any other languages? Me: no but I do know a little German. He's about 4'5" and his name is Hans
When teaching us spelling that you didn't pronounce the last B in Bomb. "why not Grandpa?" "It's silent, like the silent P in swimming." He got me and my younger sisters in turn.
also, he spoke fluent French and German and would claim that "I can speak every language except Greek"
"Say something in Russian."
"That's Greek to me"
