What do gamblers call heaven?

Paradise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rivethart
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers

They're always raising the steaks

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I bet you didn't know I was a gambler.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I went to gamblers anonymous the other day.

They gave me 2-to-1 odds I wouldn’t make it.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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My wife divorced me because I'm a compulsive gambler...

All I can think about is how to win her back!

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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To a gambler, paradise is in a pair of dice
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moose_da_goose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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What's a gamblers favorite dessert?

Dice cream.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunayafish
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Where do gamblers go to when they die?

Pair-a-dice

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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People who smoke weed are good gamblers

They always roll high

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goodfacts192837
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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What did the gambler say when asked what his favorite numbers were?

I like those odds

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deada55heada55
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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What do you call a gambler's sweater?

A CARD-igan.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monster6195
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Why aren't cows the best gamblers?

They always bet high STEAKS.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTP1999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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What does a gambler find in heaven?

A pair’a’dice

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MojoMasterGT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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After 40 years, I met my long lost twin brother at a Gamblers Anonymous meeting last night...

What are the odds!!

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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Why are the Irish risky gamblers?

Because they’re always Dublin’ down.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarriedCoin
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Why does a gambler have all the answers?

Cuz he knows

(Casinos)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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There was a guy who was a gambler you know...

There was a guy who was a gambler you know, he always bet on the number five, so he went to the horse races. He went on May 5, 2005, at 5:00 o'clock, he went to the fifth race, he bet on the fifth horse.

He got fifth place.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mauiibarra
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Why did the cautious gambler hate camping?

He didn't like staking his tent.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-if-by-whiskey-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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Why didn't the gambler go to his stoner friend's barbecue?

The steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ronnyjohnsonssink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miketar85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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My wife divorced me because I’m a compulsive gambler...

All I can think about is how to win her back.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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