A list of puns related to "Fuel Up"
"It's not rock. It science."
Riceless.
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.
Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.
When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.
The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.
The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.
Scissors always cut to the point.
Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.
When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.
Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”
i c e i c e w a t e r
Architecture is an aspiring career path.
‘Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.
I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.
Plants should always rooted in the ground.
Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.
Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.
Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.
Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.
My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.
I am not a fan of wind turbines.
Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.
Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.
Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.
Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.
A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.
I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.
Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.
Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.
Dad: I'm going to fill the car up with gas AND put fuel in the tank!
Started filling up tank with regular 87. Didn't sound right, so I pulled the nozzle out and see that it was just a bunch of shaving cream. Tried the mid grade: rubber snakes. Premium: Jimmy Kimmel canceled Christmas.
Dammit, April Fuels.
... but he was having trouble with the fuel pump. Every time the pressure dropped, it would start getting clogged and would shut down.
Eventually he had inspiration, and set things up to work in parallel: now if one intake started having trouble, the rest would still keep it running smoothly.
Lesson learned, don't put all your ebbs in one gasket
I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"
That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.
You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.
As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.
I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.
So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.
However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.
What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.
I know this guy right? He went and filled up his tank with fuel at the servo. He didn't put the hose in properly so it click and the 91 fuel splashed back onto him. He didn't think anything of it and just let it dry and went and paid for it. He's a smoker and on the way home from the servo he lights one up and his arm catches on fire. Fuck man, he was freaking out! So he puts his arm out the window to put the fire out. Next thing you know, the po po pull out behind this bloke, lights and sirens blaring! He got pull over and was arrested for an unregistered fire arm
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
My buddy just invented and hit me with this one.
"Where do cowboys go to fuel up? The grass station."
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