A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Just found out that my rod and reel is radioactive

Going nuclear fission

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekojonsiaixelsyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the sign say outside the fishing hole in Chernobyl?

Gone. Fission.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom do when he got bored?

He went fission

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aprav1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats a scientists favorite food?

Fission chips

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexxter21181
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"

They were just fission for compliments.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Nuclear Reactor have an aquarium nextdoor?

To put all its nuclear fission.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dopenastywhale
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When Manhattan Project workers needed to keep their jobs secret, they would leave and tell their loved ones:

"I'm going on a fission trip."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A proton and neutron break up...

An electron walks up to the proton and says, β€œHey! Stay positive!”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Munk-the-Man
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Not sure if this fits here, is funny or has the sciencing right, but here goes... What do you get if you combine Uranium-235 and potatoes?

Fission chips.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fionfeegle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Sun go down to the lake?

To go fission.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th3LimaBean
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a hydrogen atom's favourite pass time...?

Gone FISSION'

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when two nukes have an argument?

A fallout

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeviAEthan512
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the throne give the king radiation poisoning?

It was chair noble.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a nuclear scientists favourite meal?

Fission Chips

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InterGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Hear they had a radioactive spill at the primate lab?

They've now got fission chimps.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do they call hunting for fish at Fukushima?

Nuclear Fission.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edtdir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?

Fission Chips

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Intelligenttrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Why did the angler bait his hook with uranium?

He wanted to go nuclear fission!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/expo1001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke from memory

Allow me to regale you with a couple tales illustrating my late dad's sense of humor. Last names faked because I'm not that stupid.

.

(1). At a routine PTA meeting about me in my Georgia school, everyone found themselves packed into a hot and stuffy room waiting for the boredom to end. Shoulder to shoulder fun, can you picture it?

My dad lets one rip. It's loud, smelly, and echoes. The room falls silent as the fart invites itself unfavorably to the nostrils of those in attendance.

He turns to my mom and with his best shocked face says, "... Patty!"

I like to think he slept on the couch that night.

.

(2). During my old man's wait for us to arrive at the new home he had bought, he had to deal with ongoing construction and roughed it at a hotel for a few nights. He was a retired Master Chief Machinist's Mate, so cramped quarters reminded him of the sub's nuclear engine room. No biggie.

An interview comes up for a civilian nuclear power plant nearby, and before you know it my dad's sitting before these stuffy, serious, wrinkly old board members and managers, having his (mostly military) resume picked through.

"Well Mister Smith, we're impressed. Twenty two years is no small amount of time to dedicate to the service. But do you feel you're qualified to operate and audit a civilian fission power plant?"

My dad thinks on it for a second.

"Well no, sir, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

He got the job immediately.

(For those needing the reference)

.

Thanks for caring to read. I miss him a lot and this subreddit always reminds me of his sense of dry, quick humor. Take care!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morvick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Physics teacher dropped this one today

What's a physicists favorite food?

Fission chips.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adslegend
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
🚨︎ report
I was asking dad about thorium, and he hit me with these.

"Did you hear about the insecure nuclear physicist? He was always fission for compliments!"

A few minutes later, obviously having devoted some though to making me groan even more, he walks back in and says: "Did you hear about the other nuclear scientist who got angry whenever he heard about a scam? He suffered from con-fusion".

/facepalm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUniPleb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
🚨︎ report
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a physicists favorite food?

Fission chips

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unclerudy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report

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