Why are fire engines red?
Because they are always Russian.
One of my 65-year-old dad’s favorite jokes.
Why are fire engines red?
You'd be red too, if you had your hose stretched across the street...
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Roses are red, cellos are brown
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese....
I told them we only accept cash.
Classic French Engineering
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.
I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?
I got fired from my tailoring job
I was sitting at a red light with my family, when all of a sudden I said "Look, son! A super hero!"
I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.
Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?
No one could figure out who set the Cathedral of Notre Dame on fire..
... But Quasimodo had a hunch.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they need to draw blood.
Why was the waiter fired from his job?
Because he was too impatient
I recently finished fire fighting school
It’s where I got my first degree
The guy at my workplace whose haircut looks like a mushroom got fired today
I used to be a shepherd, but I got fired...
...for falling asleep during inventory.
It's an engineering dysfunction.
What do you call a red-headed ninja?
A ginja!
(Straight from my red-headed teacher who has this nickname from his in-laws)
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
I was fired from my job as a dentist, but I’m okay with it.
There was no hard fillings.
Damn. Just got fired from my liquor store job. I spilled a bunch of vodka.
It was an Absolut mess.
(Credit Twitter user TheDillonOne)
The worst thing about being fired from the unemployment office
Is that you have go back the next day.
I was standing in line waiting to have my hair cut, when I noticed that no one had started a fire yet.
I thought, "This is a shit barber queue."
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today
All of the crew are marooned
You might not think engineers are brave...
But it took balls of steel to make the first bearings.
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
My wife saw me almost catch myself on fire, after putting gas on a campfire.
She yelled “What are you, retardant!?”
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released
I came home from work upset. "My boss fired me because I expressed my opinion," I told my wife.
She said, "That's a human right."
I said, "Yes, my boss is a human."
You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?
What does Thomas the Tank Engine call his teen brother?
I saw a butterfly on the ground with no wings, so I poured Red Bull all over it.....And Bam !!!!
Yeah yeah yeah, the circus fire was in tents but did you hear the one about the giant who got super drunk and threw up?
Really, you didn't about that? It was all over town.
I got fired from my job driving a taxi
Boss told me I couldn't hack it
Despite being an electrical engineer, my son couldn't fix the circuit
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
- I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
Why do they call the Engineer living at 4th Lane "Robert"?
Because his name was "Robert"
I know a baker who has red hair.
He was the original ginger bread man.
Why did the nurse use a red pen?
They wanted to draw blood
What's red and invisible?
How many fire flies does it took too screw in a light bulb?
No one knows exactly, but it takes a lot. They aren't that bright.
Roses are red the queen wears a crown
Never gonna give up never gonna let you down
What's blue and smells like red paint?
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