Electric cars can't get exhausted...

...but they can get wheely tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Advnchur
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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Crash dummy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamjorzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
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I showed up to my last job interview exhausted and stoned

I was hired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDD8712
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Exhausted and tired
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Feeling β€œexhausted” ? Have a seat !
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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People who run behind cars get exhausted.

But people who run in front of cars get tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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I sat on the toilet, angry, exhausted, and late for work.

I said to myself, β€œI don’t have time for this shit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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it was an emotional wedding...
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Confucius say...

Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWhizzleteat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.

" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Wife: I’m exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby.

Me: It’s probably not a good idea to keep a baby up that late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Why was the gay man exhausted after a long day at the office?

Because he worked 9 hours straight.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.

He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakir13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.

Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."

My first official dad joke.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I dreamt I was a muffler last night..

I woke up exhausted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillaVibesXO
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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I wish I was single for one day

Being single my whole life is exhausting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdvaitChowdhary
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.

It was a taxing day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziWookie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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I spent all day on the Internet looking at mufflers

And now I’m exhausted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrodgil
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Car puns are exhausting
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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How did the mechanic feel after he left the muffler shop?

He was exhausted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eggmanofficial
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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Sebastian Vettel told this joke today in the press conference before the Monaco grand prix

There's a matchstick climbing up the hill who gets really tired and exhausted.

He sees a hedgehog on the top of the hill and says, "if only I had known there was a bus, I would have taken the bus."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilboyteddy
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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Real story: I was talking to the Waitress at a breakfast restaurant where a Jeep wheel had just blown out the front window.

I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyNow646
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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Weird dream

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I was a muffler and......I woke up exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BodaciousRaven
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend β€œWhy I have to change my position every time?”

He replies β€œI know, this sub is full of reposts”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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I'm exhausted. Just got back from the hospital

My girlfriend was really sick and the doctors said she urgently needed a blood transfusion. They asked me what her blood type was, but I had no idea. I frantically tracked my brain, trying to remember if she'd told me. She must have sensed my panic, because she looked up at me and with her final breath said, "Be positive. Be positive" She's right, though I will miss her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)

My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby

I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"

Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.

BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!

Old but gold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/miserablefrosting
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Feeling β€œexhausted”?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iPierre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Being a parking enforcement officer has to be the most exhausting job out there.

It seems like there's always a lot to do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...

I always push myself to recycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateking1000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?

Because it's two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTrollsworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Confucius say

Man who chase car soon get exhausted

And man who try to outrun car soon get tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tito_Tito_1_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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I replaced my car's muffler today.

It was exhausting...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.

This evening’s definitely looking up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD_4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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A terrorist tried to blow up a bus.....

But he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..

..do you just get exhausted ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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If you run in front of a car you get tired, if you run behind a car you get exhausted
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoreanTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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Chase after a car you get exhausted

Run in front of a car you get tyred

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcloud555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Last night I dreamt I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Confusius says:

Man runs after a car; he gets exhausted. Man runs in front of car; he gets tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenMasterG
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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Last night I had a dream I was making love to a muffler.

When I woke up I was so exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burt_Burglar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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I had a dream last night I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantity_Weary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Last night I dreamed I was a muffler

I woke up exhausted

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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