Escalade

How do you make an Escalade?

Two cups of water, two tablespoons of sugar, and one freshly squeezed escal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggnog1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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We're on my way to my Dad's 57th birthday in my Mom's Escalade...

As we're driving, he complains about how dirty my mom's old Escalade's windshield is and he can barely see through. I try to be a smart ass.

Me: Maybe it's the cataracts.

Dad: We're in a Cataract Escalade.

We all got a giggle.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichardCano
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2015
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What happens when you crash your fancy new car?

Your Mercedes bends

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My friend complained to me that her new Saab 9-5 was having engine problems.

I told her I didn’t want to hear her Saab story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckleNut445
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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I saw two Cadillacs on my way to work today...

Thank God the situation didn't Escalade any further!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBlueBuffBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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I realized I was late to my kid's soccer game. [OC]

I was running late to my kid's soccer game, so I started to jog. Then I borrowed my brother's bicycle, but I still wasn't going fast enough. So I smashed the window of a fancy SUV, hot-wired it, and slammed down on the gas pedal. Well, that Escaladed quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainwalnut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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I am guilty of a dad joke

Trying to make it to the theater on time for a show, with my 12 year old daughter next to me, stuck behind a very slow-moving Cadillac Escalade. Suddenly I throw up some gang symbols and scream "Yo, move it, Escalade, befo things get... Escaladed!"

Daughter goes "omigod" and buries her face in her hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rupispupis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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