Endful Puns

A list of puns related to "Endful"

Watch out! r/puns is in danger

r/punpatrol

r/punKGB

r/Pun_Internal_Affairs

r/punspecialforces

These are the names of our oppressors! There may be more, but they are our greatest threat. They are currently amassing an army to try to end puns as we know it.

If we are to save this beautiful form of our language, than we must unite! We must not divide ourselves by titles, but unite ourselves as punners!

They plan on eradicating all puns by going to the source, the pun user. Are we to let ourselves be undermined by those who think they are better than us? Are we to let ourselves and all future generations be banned from puns? If you say no, then join in the revolt

##VIVA LA R/PUNS

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👤︎ u/SkyThunderStorm22
📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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I once ate a cherry stem and it came out the other end tied

I shit you knot

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/IntrovertedButSocial
📅︎ Oct 21 2022
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I had to end my relationship with my cross eyed girlfriend last night.

I thought she was seeing someone else.

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👤︎ u/throwawayreddit73
📅︎ Oct 16 2022
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What always starts with w and ends with t?

Yes.

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/Cool_Engineering_279
📅︎ Sep 04 2022
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My wife purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands—that's where I'm taking you when this pandemic ends."

Turns out, we're spending two weeks behind the fridge.

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/Odd_Relation6439
📅︎ Aug 06 2022
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What happens if you cover up the back end of an F1 car?

<Spoiler hidden>

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👤︎ u/arithmetic
📅︎ Oct 07 2022
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"I'm trying to think of words that start and end with the same letter," my son told me.

"How about that," I replied.

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👤︎ u/incredibleinkpen
📅︎ Oct 14 2022
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Why do colour blind people always end up in toxic marriages?

They couldn't see the red flags

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👤︎ u/Fishboi694
📅︎ Oct 12 2022
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I love Indian food and always end up eating too much.

It’s a naan issue, though.

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👤︎ u/thebbman
📅︎ Oct 22 2022
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Sometimes, I go down to the hardware store and cut the end off of a wooden plank.

I get a little board.

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👤︎ u/RemnantReturning
📅︎ Oct 10 2022
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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!" So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's how the fight started.

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👤︎ u/Sarcastic-being
📅︎ Sep 14 2022
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Sometimes when I tell a dad joke I end up having to explain it. I'm bad at dad jokes.

It must be because I'm only an uncle.

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👤︎ u/Ph33r-Enigma
📅︎ Oct 11 2022
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What do you get when you cross a parody record and a rear end?

A Weird Al Bum

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👤︎ u/maninmotion1876
📅︎ Oct 22 2022
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When the world agreed to end all wars, my friend, a proud colonel who enjoyed fighting, wanted to tear his hair out.

He will now have nothing to comb-at.

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👤︎ u/vanpierreddit
📅︎ Oct 14 2022
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What starts with a 'C' and ends with a 'T', is hairy and oval on the outside and creamy on the inside?

A coconut.

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👤︎ u/YourOverLordisME
📅︎ Oct 07 2022
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The church steeple had reached its end of warranty.

It was set to ex-spire.

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Oct 19 2022
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When the ex-President's treason trial ended with a death by hanging sentence, what did he really begin to pray for?

Fake noose!

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/uglypaperhaver
📅︎ Jun 16 2022
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What starts with E and ends with E, but only has one letter in it?

Envelope!

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/ForeverTheSadOne
📅︎ May 17 2022
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Why do they say “amen” instead of “a woman” at the end of songs at church?

‘Cause they’re hymns not hers.

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/gevors_e92
📅︎ Jun 14 2022
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I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts. It was then I realized...

...I'd accidentally ordered Avogadro's Toast.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/YourOverLordisME
📅︎ Oct 11 2022
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It doesnt matter if you're tall or short, thin or fat, rich or poor, at the end of the day...

It's night

👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/ElijahTheChosenOne
📅︎ Jun 05 2022
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My wife asked me: “What starts with F and ends in K.”

I said: “No it doesn’t.”

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/FrostyDude78
📅︎ Apr 05 2022
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During the height of covid-19, companies would hire people to disinfect desks & chairs at the end of every day. I once asked one of these cleaning ladies: "What kills the covid-19 virus?"

"Ammonia cleaner", she replied.

I apologized profusely, "Sorry. I thought you would know."

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Oct 25 2022
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Needed a wee at the pool today, so I just did it in the deep end.

Life guard noticed and blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.

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👤︎ u/bluestratmatt
📅︎ Aug 06 2022
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I tried to adopt one dog, a beagle named Penny, but I ended up with the whole shelter.

In for a Penny, in for a pound, as they say.

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👤︎ u/AyoRobo
📅︎ Oct 07 2022
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What starts with a W, and has 3 letters, but ends with a T

I'm not asking

👍︎ 16k
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👤︎ u/rdias002
📅︎ Mar 10 2022
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At the end of the trial, the convicted Mr. Potato Head was sentenced to death by guillotine.

He would soon be decapitatered.

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👤︎ u/ilikesidehugs
📅︎ Aug 13 2022
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All's well when it ends well
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👤︎ u/Sanslution
📅︎ May 02 2022
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Could we add ‘badum-tss’ at the end of every post in here

It would be a hard hitting joke.

badum-tss

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👤︎ u/zacharyswanson
📅︎ Sep 16 2022
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Teacher: I thought I told you to stand at the end of the line.

Jimmy: I tried, but there was already somebody there.

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👤︎ u/EndersGame_Reviewer
📅︎ Oct 15 2022
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Does anyone else use the Dad joke, "Don't fall in?"

When one of the kids says they are going to the bathroom?

Or is my family just weird?

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/LMNoballz
📅︎ Sep 29 2022
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Apparently not a joke

I'm a son without a father... I lost him a few days ago to a heart attack and I just... can't stop crying

We both used to check out this sub daily for amazing dad jokes and laugh at them together... We'd try to form our own stupid stuff

I used to wake up for college early in the morning I'd cook some breakfast for him get ready and before leaving I'd wake him up and tell him a stupid dad joke... I'd want to see him start his day with a smile

I just want to thank you all in this sub for giving me and my dad happiness your jokes made us laugh at our worst times

Out of habit I keep getting up to go to his room with a dad joke... Only to see it empty

I'm never gonna get to mess around with my dad again... I'm never going to hang out with him again he's not going to be there to see me grow up and buy a house of my own ... He's not going to see me buy a car of own ... He's not going to see me get married... He's gone forever and I will never get to start my day with a smile again from a silly dad joke with him

He wasn't the greatest dad but he certainly was the best I could ever ask for ... I will miss you dad

Thank you r/dadjokes to all the amazing dads here and their funny and stupid jokes

Edit : thank you so much dad's for your overwhelming support I love you guys and I just want to take a moment to thank all the people here who shared their experiences as well of having lost a parent... Your story inspires me to continue forward with the torch

Also I'm seeing quite a few comments saying the post is not funny and that they came for a laugh... I'm truly sorry about that, I just really wanted to honor my dad in this sub since we spent so much time together here scrolling for jokes and I needed the push from you dads to get back on my feet

I'm never going to be the same that's for sure knowing a peice of me has been lost forever... The void will never be filled in my heart But your support is just what I needed, once again thank you dads I love you

Edit 2: thank you so much dads for your overwhelming support I know I haven't been able to respond to all the dms and messages here but I've been reading them all and it's just made me smile in the worst Thank you dads you guys are the best

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👤︎ u/farzad6969
📅︎ Sep 08 2022
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Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation

And I've gotta say, it really shucks

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👤︎ u/RickySan65
📅︎ Sep 26 2022
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I ended up dating my chemistry lab partner.

It was a real bonding experience.

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👤︎ u/NoneOfThisIsFine
📅︎ Sep 04 2022
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Now that September is about to end...

Don't forget to wake up Billie Joe Armstrong tomorrow.

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👤︎ u/no_lemom_no_melon
📅︎ Sep 30 2022
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What is found at the end of a rainbow?

The letter 'W'

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👤︎ u/naagu__
📅︎ Sep 13 2022
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Why did the podiatrist end his date early?

They started off on the wrong foot.

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👤︎ u/WoodChip50
📅︎ Sep 25 2022
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What do cows yell at the end of a sermon during church?

Hallemoojah

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👤︎ u/rszim94
📅︎ Jul 17 2022
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What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?

Envelope.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/ForeverTheSadOne
📅︎ Apr 23 2022
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What word begins with the letter “E” and ends with the letter “E” and only has one letter in between?

Envelope

👍︎ 317
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👤︎ u/ryan_godzez
📅︎ Jun 22 2022
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what starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter in it?

Envelope

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👤︎ u/-Borgir
📅︎ Aug 24 2022
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What starts with and "e" and ends with an "e" and has only one letter in it?

An envelope

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/Elohssa_Repus
📅︎ Apr 21 2022
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Why do they say “’amen” instead of “’women” at the end of the songs in Church?

Because they’re hymns not “hers”

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👤︎ u/ryan_godzez
📅︎ Jun 19 2022
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It doesn't matter what orientation you are, because at the end of the day...

It's night.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/EgonVector
📅︎ Sep 29 2022
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It’s doesn’t matter if you are tall, short, thin, fat, rich, or poor. At the end of the day,

It’s night.

And you are loved.

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👤︎ u/Electricman82006
📅︎ Jul 09 2022
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