I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I have been buying soap from Whole Foods called Good Soap for about 6 years now. It doesn’t irritate my skin like soaps such as Dove etc. The thing is, while a few of their soaps are vegan the rest contain goat milk.
I like that they are fair trade and that they do offer vegan soaps, but I’m worried that the amount I spend is supporting a non-vegan company instead of a vegan one.
I buy a jar or two of Hellman’s mayo a year even though it’s not a vegan company…but this is a bit different. I use 1-2 bars every two days because I have severe contamination OCD. This means that I spend sometimes as high as $1000 a year on this soap.
Is this wrong? Am I showing them that people want their vegan soaps or am I just supporting a non-vegan company?
If it’s bad, I want to switch to a vegan company. The thing is that I can get these soaps sometimes as a low a $1 a bar and mostly $2. Most natural vegan soaps I’ve seen are $4-9 dollars a bar.
Can you recommend some brands that are as reasonable as the Good soap and with similar ingredients?
Sodium Palmate**, Sodium Palm Kernelate**, Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Elaeis Guineensis (Palm) Oil**,Sodium Gluconate, Natural Fragrance, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter*, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Sodium Chloride, Palm Kernel Acid**, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Fruit Powder, Titanium Dioxide. *Certified Fair Trade **RSPO certified
Thank you for reading and I would be appreciative of advice and recommendations
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
There hasn't been a post all year!
