Echizen Province Puns

I decided to play as the Tsu, the faction that starts in Iga, home to the Hattori clan from the vanilla game. The idea was that I would wipe out the Obama as early as possible, and form a bulwark from shore to shore against Western Shogunate Expansion. Things didn't exactly work out as planned. I managed to get both incredibly lucky and incredibly unlucky.

I had forgotten how annoying the Obama clan can be. The reduced upkeep the faction gets appears to be stacked on top of the reduced upkeep the AI already gets on Legendary. There were so many by the time they declared war for the first time in 1864 that they may as well have been free. They were mostly trash levy infantry spams, which I could easily crush with a yari kachi rush army (with spear levy to screen the charge). Unfortunately, the game incredibly overrates levy infantry and underrates spears in auto-resolve. I was getting heroic victory after heroic victory, but I was having to fight every single battle manually. And, as I stated above, there were a lot of armies.

Several fellow Imperial Clans to the south, namely the Sayama, declared war on the ally the game forces you into (which is Shogunate aligned, of course). Poor little Iga was surrounded in a sea of enemies, however at least 2 of its cardinal approaches are obstructed by impassable mountains. I prioritized Yamashiro, and took the capital as 3 Obama stacks washed over Omi. After an ambush which resulted in a full regicide of the Obama clan, I sued for a separate peace as I pushed North and West to eliminate their allies.

I made a vassal out of one of the warring Imperial Clans and let them sort out the Sayama in my backlines. My ninja was invaluable with sabotaging armies. He managed to reach rank six before the end of 1866. The Obama declared war again as I was finishing off their ally, and wiped out the garrisons at both Yamashiro and Iga. It would have been game over if not for the territory I was gaining in the West. Fortunately, I was right next to their capital as well, and my daimyo had so much excess honor at this point that you can bet I looted the shit out of that town. I abandoned it to generic rebels so that I could focus on killing the Obama early.

I was making a beeline for Omi to try and cut off their lines of resupply from the North when I ran into yet more armies of the Obama: fully stacked and ready to throw down. I wiped them out in an aggressive series of battles that cost me nearly 60% of my ar

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

Nothing, it just waved

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

Why

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha

A happy Uncle.....