A drug dealer with a lisp lived in a run down house

You could say it was a meth.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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"What have I always told you about drugs in this house, son?!"

"Make sure you have enough for me!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcidMage
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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I was surprised when I caught my son smoking weed upstairs...

I never imagined my house would have a drug attic.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeeball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Drugs
  • What do you call drugs in a saucepan? Pot.

  • What do you call drugs stored inside the back of your pants? Crack.

  • What do you call drugs stored in a car battery? Acid

  • What do you call drugs found between 2 slabs of concrete? Crack

  • What do you call drugs in a junked up or hoarded room? Meth

  • What is it called when you have all the drugs you could want? Ecstacy

  • What do you call someone using drugs in the top part of a house? A drug attic

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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New TV Show Puns

I put up Punderdome cards on my door every day. Today's cards were too much fun not to share. What else can you come up with?

https://preview.redd.it/fru7gc2epjo21.jpg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370a3ac0776b86863ed4ec133f9b667ec190566f

Project Run-a-way

America's Next Top Money Launderer

Keeping Up with the Car-Jackings

Naked & Public Exposure

My Solitary Confinement Life

The Real House-arrest Wives

The Great British Breaking & Entering

So You Think You Can Drink & Drive?

America's Got Theft

Pawn(ing Stolen Goods) Stars

Jersey Shore You Should Steal That Car

Who Wants to be an Arrested Felon?

Say Yes to the Drugs

Arson Daily

What else do can you think of?!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leash15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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My dad’s version of β€œThe Night Before Christmas”

A Christmas Poem
by Dad (1952–2009)

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the shack,
Not a creature was stirring, we was all in the sack;

Our mugs were placed on the mantle with cheer,
In hope that Saint Nick would bring us a beer;

And me I was tucked up all snug in my bed,
But strains of sweet music still danced through my head;

So I sprang from my bed with a crash and a clatter,
And off down the hall with bare feet did I patter;

There on the chair sat my musical pipe,
So I sat down to play without fanfare or hype;

Come Mozart, come Hayden, Stravinski and Strauss,
And write me some music to bring down the house;

When down from the chimney appeared with a crash,
A strange little man in the smoke and the ash;

He wiggled and jumped and got up like a shot,
Came over and said, "Man those cinders are hot!";

His stomach it shook like a bowl full of jelly,
For a moment I thought it was dear old aunt Nelly;

His nose like a cherry, his ears like two jugs,
I was worried that this guy just might be on drugs;

His language was foul, his jokes they were crass,
So I opened the door and threw him out on his ass;

But then as I turned, boy was I ever surprised;
I saw what he'd bought me, or so I surmised;

For there in the corner right under the tree,
Was some brand new sheet music and a case of O.V.;

I turned to say thank-you but found he had gone,
He was not in the garden and not on the lawn;

And just when I thought that he couldn't get far,
I realized the old goat had stolen the car;

Off in the distance he said with a wheeze,
"I hated to do it but you left me the keys!";

I smiled and laughed for this much I could savour,
For I'd just sold the car to my idiot neighbour;

And once more he called as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and don't drive when you're tight!"

Thank you for everything, Dad. We love and miss you.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannonBall7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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Drug Test

When I started to leave the house, my dad called after me, "where are you going?"

"To take a drug test." I replied.

"Well, did you study?" He asked.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theshotand1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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