Draco Malfoy Puns

Draco Malfoy was a bully. It's as simple as that. He constantly made fun of Harry, Ron and Hermione along with countless others. He thought he was superior based on blood status and didn't mind calling people slurs.

Throughout the series, Draco bullies the Weasley's. He calls Hermione a mudblood. He makes fun of Harry for having no parents. Malferret made fun of the Weasley's for being poor, and also called Molly fat. I specifically remember this one time in GOF in the chapter with the Death Eaters at the Quidditch World Cup. He laughs at the idea of Hermione's assault. There are multiple times when he has wished death upon Hermione.

When he was in the astronomy tower with Dumbeldore, he was BRAGGING about how he managed to get the Death Eaters into the castle. He also bragged about how he had Madame Rosmerta under the Imperius Curse, an Unforgivable.

He was not "the boy who had no choice." There is always a choice. It may have been a harder pathway, but it would've been better. Also, Draco was not abused. There is zero canon evidence to support this - except Lucius racking him on the hands a few times, which is the same as Molly smacking Ron in the head. Please don't try and defend him with that "he was raised like that" line. There were many exceptions: Sirius, Regulus, Andromeda.

Nowt to be blunt, but most people only like Draco because he was attractive in the movies. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS HOT DOESN'T MEAN WE IGNORE THE BAD THINGS THEY DID.

Draco did one good thing in his teenage years, and that was trying to pretend he didn't know who the Golden Trio was in Malfoy Manor. I think Draco truly became a better person after the war, when he realised that blood purity wasn't everything and met Astoria.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)

EDIT: I have come to the realisation that this is not at all an unpopular opinion here. I'm new to Reddit so I assumed it would be similar to TikTok or Instagram where Malferret has loads of fangirls

EDIT 2: I stopped censoring mudblood. Some people on instagram had gotten offended but someone in this post mentioned: "To censor a word that is offensive to a group that doesn't even exist is downplaying other slurs. Mudblood will never have the same weight as any real slur. "

Listen, I will admit it myself. Draco is objectively good looking and attractive. But his character is shit. Nobody can tell me otherwise. He bullies everyone for the majority of the series and towards the end he just "changes" Like for literally no reason other than him not wanting to kill Dumbledore. No. He is not some desirable victim villain. He's just an annoying rich kid who hurt people for the majority of his life and when war struck he couldn't handle it and had a mental breakdown. Draco is not special. Had he been slightly older he would have killed Dumbledore without hesitation and fought in the war just like everyone else was doing.

And another thing that strongly bothers me is how popular the "dramione" ship is. Every time I see it, it legitimately makes me want to scream. Hermoine and Draco arent compatible in the SLIGHTEST. He wishes death on her and makes her cry. She despises him. Even Serius Black and Remus Lupin have more chemistry than Hermoine and Draco. Just admit people only ship them because they're hot.

Being tasked with the impossible - namely killing Dumbeldore, his father imprisoned and a dark Lord having invaded his home - Draco Malfoy is less than impressed with how his life is coming along. So when he ends up in the 70s by accident, Draco - like any respectable Slytherin - isn't above using this situation to his advantage. What better way to avoid the dark Lord, but by keeping his parents away from him in the first place?

Besides, if he can deal with sharing a home with the Dark Lord and aunt Bella's "training", he can deal with sleeping surrounded by a bunch of future Death Eaters.

And if embracing the political lessons his father had always wanted to ingrain in him manage to help him pull a few of those onto his side, it can only be positive.

But apart from his mother being only a year above him, there is still that rag-tag group led by an imposter-Potter, a pubescent future potions Master and a boy, of whom nobody thinks he might be a werewolf!

This might be a luke-warm take, but I don't think he is the same annoying "my father will hear about this" character he is built up as in retrospect, but most fans I talk to still seem to think of him that way. The more I see/read/think about it, he's in a similarly abusive situation to Harry but without all the support. Plus he gets like beat up/hurt/embarrassed at school and loses the house & quidditch cup almost every year.

He is a little jerk at first, but his family is widely disliked, and eventually disgraced, while the only people that give him a reason to seek their approval are terrible influences. Still, amidst basically universal disdain from his peers and elders, he can't bring himself to do the terrible things asked of him. His struggles later on in the series feel heavier and more tangible to me, and the good choice is never as obvious for him as others.

It makes sense how Harry reacts to him in the beginning, but I can't help but feel like if he was friendly to him (while suggesting he stop being a jerk) he could have had a powerful friend & ally.

Hi everyone, im looking for fanfics with a Draco Malfoy pining for Hermione. Give me all you got! Thanks in advance:)

I understand it's part of the story that Draco gets away with a lot, but for all the really bad and mean things Draco does, I can only remember him getting in actual trouble (trouble with the school, that is, as opposed to being beat up or cursed by our heroes) on 3 occasions.

1. Detention for sneaking out at night in Philosopher's Stone (even here, he only loses 20 points while Harry, Hermione, and Neville lose 50 each.)
2. Detention for trying to sabotage the Gryffindor team by posing as a Dementor in Prisoner of Azkaban
3. Transfigured by Moody (née Crouch Jr) in Goblet of Fire and McGonagall forces him to undo this one. (Edit #4: yeah, this one really isn’t justified.)

But he gets away with nearly everything else and most of it is worse than what he actually gets in trouble for. I understand it's part of the story, but it's hard for me to get over how much better he has it than Harry and his friends do.

Then again, bullies get away with much more than their victims ever do in schools in the real world, so, like with Cornelius Fudge not taking a crisis seriously, this is one of the more realistic parts of Harry Potter.

Edit: In case anyone gets any ideas, I want to make this absolutely clear: Draco Malfoy was a flat out bully and there is no defense for the majority of things he says.

Edit #2 because there is a seriously misinformed “fan” in this thread: Dumbledore’s Army was unequivocally the right decision.

Edit #3: I’ve gotten too heated in this argument so I’m stepping away from this thread.

People are saying, "Oh, Draco had no choice", no, he HAD a choice, he could have just, like, not bullied Harry.

But ok, lets say that Draco had no choice and had to bully harry, then why do you have to bully all of those first years? you just come across as insecure, if the name Malfoy has so much prestige, then why do you always have to show that prestige? we get it, malfoys are important people.

The only time i rembember having empathy for malfoy was the Sectumsempra fiasco, but thats all i can remember

How is it so widely unnoticed that Draco Malfoy had nearly killed both Ron Weasley and Katie Bell and why is it also ignored?

I was rereading the half blood Prince and it occurred to me that if Ron actually died from poisoning there would be a full fledged enquiry and if retraced to Malfoy it would be so disastrous.

Do people really let him get away with this? Is this really something to let slide? I do understand his situation was pitiable but if Ron died the narrative of the story would be something else altogether.

Malfoy’s completely unsteady mental state of mind made him a murderous psychopath and no one cared.

JK Rolling

Dumbledore has tasked Filch with cleaning his office, but due to the many volatile magics on and in the room, the entire thing has to be cleaned the muggle way. No problem, Dumbledore thinks, Filch is a squib, who should know how to clean without any magic.

Except Filch is a lazy bastard who prefers to have the students do his job for him in 'detentions'.

This is how Draco Malfoy ends up having to clean Dumbledore's office with 'filthy muggle objects'. Knowing nothing about chemicals, Draco ends up mixing bleach and ammonia while trying to clean the floor. He doesn't know that he just made mustard gas, but he knows that the gas rapidly filling the room is making his eyes and throat burn, so he casts a bubblehead charm. Filch is not so lucky, and begins coughing up blood as he ingests the mustard gas.

After only a minute, the deadly chemicals have escaped Dumbledore's office and begin to funnel throughout the school.

At the end of the first war against Voldemort, the Ministry under Barty Crouch Jr., riled up by Dumbledore, brutally retaliates against the Death Eaters; using the discovery of a Horcrux in the Lestrange vault as a pretext, they sent dozens of pureblood families to Azkaban and seized their fortunes, sharing the seized gold amongst the Ministry/Dumbledore's own followers to assure their loyalty.
 
Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were among those who were imprisoned and had everything taken, their claims of being controlled by the Imperius falling on deaf ears.
But before they were arrested, they were able to direct a house-elf to spirit their only child, Draco Malfoy, away to safety. Somewhere far away from Britain, far away from a school and government whose Headmaster and Minister hunger for gold. To the deepest depths of northern Europe, a little Hogsmeade-esque village in the shadow of Durmstrang Institute.
 
Now, at 11 years of age, Draco Malfoy is finally ready to enter Durmstrang Institute. But when a hulking man comes to deliver his letter of invitation, he lets slip his knowledge of just who the Malfoys are and why Draco is an orphan; a story of a dark lord called Voldemort, who used his parents like puppets, and a greedy man named Dumbledore who saw their lives as a stepping stone to riches.
Draco's shock at the terrible tale slowly turns to resentment and anger; though he attends Durmstrang, passing his first year with flying colors, his fury continues to grow. By the time his second year of schooling rolls around, the wizard-to-be has a mission; revenge.
Though no Slytherin in this timeline, he has ambition nonetheless, and his magic answers; building up a circle of friends and sycophants with his power and charisma, Draco slowly but surely begins to build an army, to gather intelligence on Britain, to one day slaughter Dumbledore and his associates, to avenge his parents and reclaim his birthright...

Minerva Mcgonagall knew something was up the when she noticed that Mr. Potter was not sitting next to Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley like he usually is during meals, but instead he was sitting next to Mr. Thomas with a seat on his right left empty. Then Mr. Malfoy comes down and she would never admit it but she stares. Mr. Malfoy had used magic to grow out his hair just a few inches above his shoulders. Not to mention it was brown now. There was also something very un-Draco Malfoy like about him. She couldn’t put her finger on it but his posture was different and and there was an unsure smile instead of customary sneer or scowl or even smirk. Now everyone was watching.

And instead of sitting at the Slytherin table like he does literally everyday, he goes over to the Gryffindor table, sits now next to Mr. Potter and his unsure smile turns into an a very unlike Draco Malfoy grin and throws his arm around Mr. Potters shoulder and says “Hey Buddy”. He throws a smile at Mr. Thomas too and Minerva gapes.

It’s not often the stern witch is caught off guard but bloody hell! She looks around the great hall and looks at the others reactions. Severus looks like he just swallowed a lemon, the other Professors have looks of various degrees of shock on their faces. Even Albus has no idea what’s going on. She looks at Mr. Finnegan, Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger only to find them also gaping at the unlikely trio indicating that they didn’t know what was going on either. The other Gryffindors also seemed shocked. She looks over to the Slytherin Table and see Mr. Malfoy’s too goons looking dumbstruck and Miss Parkinson is just stuck in with her mouth agape. Although to be fair, most people were also just there agape.

Minerva purses her lips and wonders what happened to the three boys and their change in attitudes.

—

This goes to literally any of my other prompts too but if you want to write something based on this, go ahead.

"Hah", thought Draco as he hovered above the Quidditch Grounds. "Longbottom's remembrall. Silly fellow. But, blast it, he needs toughening up, he's too much of a bumbler, he's embarrassing himself. They wouldn't understand, but... I feel like I'm the Man for that job. I do feel sad about what happened to His Parents, but what can I do? What can I do? Realistically, he still needs to go through some hazing. Better me than the others, savage imbeciles that they are".

Draco was distracted by a whooshing sound, as he saw Harry Potter fly up in his peripheral vision, and then in front of him.

"Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!", shouted Harry.

Draco's face contorted.

"What?!", he thought to Himself. "Knock me off my broom? He can't possibly be serious? He would knock me off at this height, killing me instantly?! This is... Oh my word. The rumours must be true, then. There must be something of the Dark Lord dormant within Him".

Draco pondered in that moment.

"Well", he thought to himself, "I was considering capitulating at the next feast. I suppose that idea goes out the bloody window... To think I was considering inviting Potter and his friends over to the Manor for a get together. This won't do. This won't do at all... I suppose I'll have to maintain my position. But I hate this! I bloody well hate this! Narcissistic, vicious Parents who want death and destruction, talk of that maniac they worship returning, and now it seems even Potter might be his replacement?! What sort of Chess match am I involved in?!... God, this Place has gone to the dumps".

The prime, and really only, suspect is Harry Potter, who was observed earlier that day on the receiving end of a rather humiliating series of confrontations with the young Malfoy. While Harry protests his innocence, the only one that believes him unconditionally and wholeheartedly is Albus Dumbledore; for all the good that does him considering that the pair of them are virtual pariahs among the people of Wizarding Britain.

This is something that really bothers me. There's really NO indication in the books that he competed academically with Hermione or even Harry or Ron. Hell, the boy got 3 OWLS. Harry and Ron got 7. He's also really impulsive, even more than Harry, and his comebacks aren't even witty. Yet in fanfics I commonly see the authors making him really smart and academically driven? It doesn't make sense to me.

When people ask you which Harry Potter character was ruined by the films, answers are most likely either Ginny or Ron. Some people mention Snape. Some people consider Hermione. I agree with all of them. The movies indeed destroyed Ron and Ginny and over-glorified Hermione and Snape.

However, no one talks about Draco Malfoy.
The boy who had no choice. The boy who was abused. The boy who should have ended up with the chosen one or the brightest witch of her age. Aww... Let me play the tiniest violin in the world.

The films rewrote Draco Malfoy. They left out 90% of his malicious moments:

1. He met Harry at Madam Malkin's Robe Shop in the Philosopher's Stone. And on his 1st meeting, he insulted Harry's parents, Hagrid, and muggle-borns.
2. Then he invited Harry and Ron on a midnight duel but never showed up because he wanted them to get expelled.
3. He used a leg locker curse on Neville.
4. He wished death upon Hermione three times in the Chamber of Secrets.
5. He fat-shamed Molly Weasley.
6. He laughed at the prospect of Hermione’s sexual harassment in the Goblet of Fire.
7. He mocked Hermione for having large front teeth.
8. He called Harry's mother a mudblood.
9. He laughed at Cedric's death.
10. He made potter stink badges to humiliate Harry.
11. He wrote an entire song to bully Ron.
12. And then in the 6th book he was gloating about his dark mark to his friends.
13. He refused Snape's help just because he wanted the glory all by himself.
14. He tried to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED.
15. He chose the wrong path EVERY TIME. And his last major act was trying to capture the trio in the Room of Requirement. And after Harry saved his life, he tried to convince a Death Eater that he was on their side.

And guess what? The films left out ALL OF THESE. They portrayed him as a bratty cool kid rather than the complete idiot he is in the books. They had him smiling at his arch-nemesis while bullying him. They made him way more sympathetic than he was in the books. As a result, horny fangirls try to shove garbage like Drarry and Dramione down everyone's throat.

Films ruined many characters. And Draco is definitely one of the top contenders.

Like the title says, everyone's least favorite whiny bigot gets the punishment and treatment his actions should have warranted and deserved. TIA!

Am I the only one who thinks Dumbledore gambled with the safety of the whole school with the way he dealt with Malfoy's case in the 6th book ? Let's start from the beginning, so yes Dumbledore knew he was dying and only had a few months left, he decided to use his death to reinforce Snape's position as a spy which makes sense and even wanted to "save" Draco Malfoy which is admirable. Now don't get me wrong I do feel bad for the position Draco was in BUT was Dumbledore's plan to "do nothing about it" really a good idea ? He was letting a desperate death eater into school, and if there was something Draco Malfoy was known for it's his prejudice against muggleborns. So why was Dumbledore so sure that Draco wouldn’t harm other students ? 2 persons could have been killed that year. Katie Bell ended in St Mungos and if it wasn't for Harry, Ron would have been dead. Was it really worth it ? To gamble with the safety of a whole school in order to save Draco Malfoy ? I don't know if he could have talked to him and convinced him to join the light, but surely there were other ways ? I am not really complaining because if it wasn't for Draco disarming Dumbledore, Harry wouldn't have the elder wand. But Dumbledore wasn't a seer so he had no way to know about it. The whole thing ended up as a fiasco in my opinion because it led to death eaters getting in the school. Imagine Fenrir Greyback roaming the hallways and encountering defenseless first years.. I still don't understand how that ended up with minimal damage since things could have been way worse than Bill getting attacked. In conclusion, this was maybe one of Dumbledore's stupidest ideas ( and god knows he had a lot ). You probably would argue that in the grand scheme of things, people need to make sacrifices and that every war comes with collateral damage. I'd say you have a point that there will be collateral damage but that we should try and avoid unnecessary deaths, and we can all agree that a lot of them could have been avoided throughout the series.

Was he saving him so maybe he could get some type of revenge against Voldemort or did he really not recognise or was it something else?