The next day we named the Dog curiosity.
With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.
My dad said she had expensive taste
The son noticed two dogs mating, he asked his dad "What are the dogs doing?" Dad replied "they're making puppies." Later that night, the son was scared due to a thunderstorm, he walked in his parents room and noticed his dad on top of mom and said "dad what are you doing to mom?" Dad said "we're making babies." And the son said "well turn mom around, I want a puppy instead!"
Some twenty years ago, I was in an airport with my parents and siblings. After waiting at the gate for our flight for maybe 30 minutes, the following conversation took place.
Mom: are you ok?
Me: I’m getting a headache. Maybe from that high pitched whistling sound.
Brother: what whistling sound?
Me: can’t you hear it? It’s driving me crazy.
Brother: maybe you have canine hearing. Maybe it’s a dog whistle.
Dad: dogs can’t whistle!
"I'm surprised how many they keep finding. Where are all these baby bunnies coming from?" My dad: "Big bunnies."
Thanks dad. I think I'll just go home now.
I was visiting my parents this weekend and this conversation happened.
Mom to dad: “Your dog is barking outside.”
Dad: “Ok, let me know if she starts meowing.”
We had just finished barbecuing, and my sister accidentally dropped her hot dog on the floor. My parent's dog instantly pounced on it and scarfed it down in one bite.
My grandpa then turned to me with the biggest shit-eating grin:
"It's a dog-eat-dog world."
When we were younger we had to walk the plank.
My parents were too poor to afford a dog.
A baker and his wife had a child. A lovely, healthy boy. Since the wife was mad about history, she wanted to give the boy a name suitable for a man destined for great things. Jokes were made, names proposed, but in the end the decision was made - they named the boy Attila.
Attila showed great potential from an early age - he excelled at sports, grew strong, but his other capabilities were astonishing as well. He learned and went through encyclopedias like a fire through forests. Surely enough, he was bound to become a great man some day.
Apart from being an exceptional young man, he loved animals as well. He was kind and compassionate, equally cherishing all forms of life. Since his parents loved him so much, they bought him all he ever wanted - but he did not ask for much, he was never greedy.
Growing up, he has received many animals as pets - there were cats, dogs, hamsters and even exotic animals - tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, you name it.
Their home became a sort of an animal sanctuary, and Attila took care of all animals with love and passion. But, the family business was starting to suffer when his father the baker got ill.
Being the amazing young man he was, Attila stepped up and started learning secrets of the trade - he started baking like no one else.
But, since he devoted his time to the bakery, the animals were starting to be neglected. He tried feeding them, petting them, but nothing helped.
Slowly, one by one the animals passed away leaving behind only the most resistant ones - the snake and a few spiders.
The spiders were easy to take care of, but the snake wouldn't eat, no matter what. Saddened, Attila came to his mother and asked for advice as he was all out of ideas. Of course, being the caring mother she always was, she passed on her knowledge to Attila:
"This anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, Hun."
So a little backstory, my parents take the dog for a walk every night. My mom is in college (lol napoleon dynamite) and she takes a marine biology class.
So they were on one of those walks last night, and they were talking about ants. My mom's question was whether or not ants sleep. My dad replies saying, "Why are you asking me? You're the one in a biology class." To which she replied, "I'm in a marine biology class, I don't think there are any marine ants."
Without skipping a beat, my dad came up with the most incredible response...
"Why can't there be marine ants? We already have army ants."
The dog chewed one end off of a bone shaped squeaky toy. She put it on her finger and said, "Look, my finger is really bony!" Guess we're doing the parenting thing right!
I'm visiting my parents from out of town and we all had gone outside to see the super moon and the meteor shower.
My dad waited until I said something along the lines of "oh wow look at the super moon."
That's when it started. He began singing "Super moon, super moon, it's super moonay" to the tune of "super freak." My mom, not to be outdone, joined in.
I'm clearly not having it so after seeing the super moon I go back inside. They follow me inside and I trip over their dog Tink. Annoyed I said, "Stupid Tink" setting off a new chorus of Super Tink.
Today he was playing with one of his parents dogs and looking at the two tumors that she has (they are benign). He said, "one more and she'll have a three-mor!"
I went to my parents place today for lunch, during the course of the meal, the conversation turned towards my cat and his goings on, I mentioned a problem he's been having with peeing on my couch, probably due to separation anxiety because it only happens when I'm out of the apartment for extended periods of time. Upon hearing this, the following exchange occurs:
Dad: We don't have that problem.
Me: (Assuming he's referring to their dog) Yea? That's good.
Dad: Yea, your mother was on a cruise all of last week and I didn't pee on the couch once!
Last night my mom was telling me about how my parents' dog started eating a whole pack of gum it found on the floor, but (miraculously) gave up. There were teeth marks on the package, but no punctures.
Dad: And you know what she was thinking when she couldn't get through the package?
Me: No, what?
Dad: "Blasted! Foiled again!"
My mother posted this on facebook this morning (has the relevant story of the pun).
http://imgur.com/IhcyhfC
My parents have 4 dogs (I suppose to replace the 4 boys that have up and left for adulthood) but it looks like my dad knows aren't going to sell one of their own up the river.
