my friend just told me, 'I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water'.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie ‘The Firm’ is the sequel to Die Hard?
I have the smartest dog in die world.
I asked him the other day what 1 483 692 × 0 was, and he said nothing.
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
On my death bed I’l request to be moved to a tub full of pees just before I die so people can say ‘may he rest in pees’
If you are born in a car and die outside, you are literally
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die
This fact is just mind-blowing.
I went camping and a grizzly approached me. I was terrified. I was about to run, but the grizzly stopped and said, “you will die in 10 days.” I replied, “who are you??”
He said, “I hate to be the bear of bad news.”
Why did the Italian stuck in snow die of hunger?
Cos he couldn't hava-lanche
Where does a UFC fighter go if they die in the octagon?
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.
When I die, I hope to go quietly in my sleep. Like my grandfather. ...
... Not on fire and screaming like everyone else on the bus he was driving.
Each year 100 million birds die in the US by crashing into Windows...
I guess you could call them Blue Screens of Death.
Nice I can go die in peace
My wife lamented that our newly planted hostas in the garden will probably die...
I quickly replied, if it happens, you can say Hosta la vista, baby.
That got me a round of slow clapping from the whole family.
A pun my sister edited in snapchat and then sent to me: A Good Data Die Hard
If you die for your religion in a really stupid way ...
You can’t die in the living room
I will probably die before I see a heron in real life.
One cannot die in a living room.
Pun comes inside a room and suddenly 10 people in the room die.
How will Sidious die in Star Wars Episode IX?
(In honor of my cake day, the one that makes my kids groan the most) When I die, I want to go like my grandfather: in my sleep.
Not yelling and screaming like all the other people in the car he was driving at the time.
why don't horses die in earthquakes?
their homes are very stable
Die guy puts die in you die so when your die dies you have more die
If you die in combat with Jason Derulo, do you go to Swalhalla?
What’s the best place for a die to roll in?
Did you hear about the guy who got the entire left half of his body ripped off in a horrible accident at his factory job that he had to support his family, and now he might die, or even worse, become a brain dead vegetable that is only an economic burden on his already poor family?
So I read a post on twitter where someone was told to “go die in a hole”
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Did you guys know that, in Germany, the Tom Cruise 'The Firm' is actually just the Die Hard sequel?
I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep
Not screaming like the people in the back of his car.
I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car.
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die
This fact is just mind-blowing.
I want to die in my sleep, just like my grandpa did...
Unlike the passengers in his car.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa
Not screaming like the passengers in the car.
When I die, I want to go peacefully and calmly in my sleep...
Not screaming like everyone else in the car.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa; not screaming in terror like the passengers in the car he was driving.
When I die I want it to be in my sleep, just like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like the other 3 people in the car
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather
Not screaming and yelling like the other people in the car with him.
I want to die like my grandpa, peacefully in my sleep
Not screaming in terror, like his passengers
When I die, I want to go out in my sleep like my Grandpa.
Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not panicking, like his passengers.
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