The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I think I've forgotten this before.
"Have we been here before? I'm sure we've been here before." - Every male member of my family (including my Alzheimer's stricken grandfather).
Every time.
I swear I have before. The strangest feeling
But I feel like itβs been posted here before.
I feel like I've done this crap before
They always say theyβve been herbivore.
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And Iβd like to take a minute but I wonβt stop and prattle
And tell you this story you havenβt HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didnβt care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ainβt a cow, donβt got what Iβm after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
While spending time with my parents in law, my father in law asks my wife, "Ever get deja vu?" "No.." "Ever get deja vu?" "Oh my god.." "Ever get deja vu? Whoa.. deja vu."
My mam saw a channel on the telly called the Deja Vu channel so she asked my dad what it was.
He replied with βIβm not sure but I swear Iβve seen it beforeβ
Heβs now pissing himself laughing and mam doesnβt get it
Deja poo.
Happy Father's Day!
A fizzician
De ja-flu
A Deja Boo !
But when I do, he laughs.
Deja view
Psychologists call it DΓ©jΓ poo.
Moo-pheus and Neigh-O.
(Original joke, but afterwards did a search and found Moo-pheus had already been referenced.)
That's deja flu
Deja moo
27, single, childless With a group of friends about to ride a rollercoaster. I notice that the ride attendants name tag says "DeJa"... and I can feel the dad within me take over.
The ride was fun, we were in the first row... DeJa cheerily welcomes us back into the station, and I, without control of myself, exclaim "OMG it's DeJa, again!" Pause 1 second Entire cart groans in unison.
She convincingly said she had "never heard that one before", but it might have just been expert-level sarcasm.
The worst part is later in the day when I go to the bathroom I have the most overwhelming deja poo.
So I stayed with relatives in New Zealand for a while. I had no knowledge of the local places.
They were talking about a certain french style cafe.
Me: What's the cafe called?
Cousin: It's called deja-vu. Do you know it?
Me: Yeah I think I've seen it already.
Silence and faces of clueless people
I even had to explain the joke which kinda made me feel dumb. So I thought that's probably how a dad feels after making one of these jokes.
