A list of puns related to "Dad Joke"
They store it in dad-a-base.
Try this on for sighs.
They never get old.
So this is a true story, and maybe I’ll go to hell for telling it, but I expect I’ll meet the actual perpetrator there:
At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if I’d seen the rabbit — the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasn’t a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.
Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldn’t have been me — I’ve never been one to split hares
What Job did Beethoven get after he died?
He decomposed.
I have a coupon tattooed on my arm that I scan every time I buy groceries. Some people give me dirty looks, but then I redeem myself.
That's karma for ya
He tries them on for sighs.
A Faux Pa
When it becomes apparent.
I realize this isn't a joke, but it seems the best place to ask it. Hopefully the mods will let it ride. What movie is the quintessential dad joke movie?
My vote is "Top Secret!" with Val Kilmer in the mid 80s.
But it was a load of rubbish.
I'm a faux pa.
It's a faux pa.
Tell it upstairs.
Because bad puns are how eye roll.
They tend to make eyes roll.
I just haven’t reddit yet
We have a dad-abase full of them.
...His kid was only a week old!
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. He says "One please and a beer for the road."
When your baby boy is born on the way to the hospital, and you name him Carson.
I apologized, it was Faux pa
Well...it's a little door key.
By reporting all their earnings as Gross Income
My wife was dishing out food. She put some salad on a plate and handed it to my daughter.
Then my wife looked at me and said, "Cesar Salad?"
I immediately grabbed my daughter's plate and pulled it out of her hands. My daughter got confused (maybe wondering if she did something wrong?). My wife asks me, "What the hell are you doing???"
I responded, "Sorry. Could have sworn you just said seize her salad."
Because all the good ones argon already.
One.
Turned around, and realized it was Mom.
I told them I just love Pop culture.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.” GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
Because when I do, he never laughs!
6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?
6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.
Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.
12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.
Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.
Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.
Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.
Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"
7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.
"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."
In a dad-a-base
When the punchline becomes apparent.
But do you know when a joke is a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
A Faux Pa
When it becomes apparent
When it becomes apparent...
Sometimes he even laughs at them
When it leaves and never comes back
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