3 tomatoes crossing the road...
Here's a car - thurrrp
Where? - thurrrp
There - thurrrp
A chicken crossing the road...
I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.
They said I was weaving all over the road.
While crossing the road I saw a truck, then it hit me:
Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?
I got hit by a rickshaw while crossing the road today
My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.
I said his concerns are poultry.
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
When crossing the road to the music store
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What stopped the chicken from crossing the road?
A turtle was crossing the road...
...in front of our shuttle bus yesterday, on our way to a Civil War re-enactment. "He's trying to get away from the battle before it begins", said our driver.
Without missing a beat, I quipped "Yeah, he must have heard there was going to be a shelling."
Half-hearted groans were had, and my wife wanted to disappear. Success!
Why did the crab cross the road?
He wanted to go on another sidewalk.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken hadn't evolved yet.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Yesterday I changed a lightbulb, crossed a road, and walked into a bar.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Because dogs were chasing it.
Why did the lion cross the road?
Because there was a zebra crossing
Why did the Hippie cross the road?
Cause he was on a road trip.
Why did the pelt thief cross the road?
To get to the other’s hide.
My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?
Why did it take so long for the chicken to cross the road?
There was no eggs-press lane!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't. It got run over.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was in a curry.
my bad.
Why did Darth Vader cross the road?
How did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. “Hey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
Why did the preschooler cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the undefined cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand store.
Whar did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
I don't know, I couldn't hear him.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the auto repair shop to get his pick up cluck.
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put the wrong socks on this morning
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was poultry in motion.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the sperm cross the road today?
Because I wore the wrong Socks on...
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack
(Courtesy of my son!)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
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