Why do con artists never run out of lollipops?

Because there's a sucker born every minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What is a con artist's truck towed with?

A pickup line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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What do you call a con artist that can air bend?

An air con

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?

She took him for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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What do you call a female con artist?

Ms. Leading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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What do you call a con artist rappelling down a skyscraper?

Con descending

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BR0-z0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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What's a con artist's greatest asset?

His lie-ability.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cl350rg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
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Never trust people who sketch facial composites for police reports.

They're con artists.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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My cousin got a job at the police department sketching pictures of suspects.

Apparently he’s a con artist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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My dad texts me jokes about once a week. Here are about 30 of my favorites.
  • What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.

  • If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.

  • Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

  • Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.

  • I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.

  • Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.

  • I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.

  • How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *

  • Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.

  • I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?

  • Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

  • I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.

  • Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.

  • Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?

  • Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

  • When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.

  • I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.

  • Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.

  • Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

  • I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.

  • Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?

  • Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.

  • Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.

  • Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"

  • I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.

  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.

  • So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.

  • When you get an infection, urine trouble.

  • "Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."

  • How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."

  • Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.

  • Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *

  • What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *

*My absolut

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhenIm6TFour
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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Cosplayers are just con artists
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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I ran into my house and screamed, "Hey kids, great news! I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects!"

I'm a con artist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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