Choo Choo Train Puns

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

A loco motive.

I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"

She asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?”

In my best bear voice, I replied, “No thanks, I’m stuffed.”

Achoo choo train!

So, we're driving up a tree-lined street where people often have wedding/family photos taken. It's lined with live oaks and is pretty beautiful. That prompted this conversation.

12 y/o daughter: Why do people sometimes get their wedding photos taken on train tracks? That doesn't make sense.

Me: Because they choo-choose to? [with a debt to Ralphie Wiggam]

6 y/o daughter (Loud groan): Papi, that's a terrible joke.

Me: So you think you could engineer a better one if I train you?

12 y/o: Dad why do you always make these awful jokes?

Me: Because I've got loco motives!

At that point I started laughing so hard I couldn't come up with anymore.

Turns out that there's trains that are pretty prominent at night. Was sitting at work when I get the text informing me:

Her: "So, turns out that there's trains at night around here.."

Me: "Well, guess you'll just have to try sleeping, you got work in the morning."

10 min later

Her: "Another one.. Wooo!"

Me: "Choo* trains go choo."

Her: "... I'm going to bed."

I thought it was clever.

Dad "What's the difference between a teacher and a train when it comes to gum?"

I thought long and hard and couldn't figure it out. "I don't know."

Dad "A teacher won't let you chew any gum, but a train says "Choo Choo!"

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

I said, “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”

“How many trains have you derailed to date?” I replied “It’s hard to keep track.”