Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for carrying a gun made out of Jello?
He was charged with carrying a congealed weapon.
Why do Italian policemen always carry bread around with them?
What do you call a rock that you carry for 5280 feet
What do you call a lady who carries people across rivers?
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Did you hear about the boat carrying red paint that crashed into the boat carrying purple paint?
I hear some of the crew is believed to be marooned.
A Tanker Carrying Blue Paint and a Tanker Carrying Red Paint Have Crashed Out In The Desert
The news says thay are currently Marooned.
Which Spicegirl can carry the most fuel?
A math teacher fell down the stairs while he was carrying a bunch of probability textbooks
You could say the odds where stacked against them
Did you ever hear the one about the female dairy farmer who always carried a knife and a gun?
Everyone got a salted butter.
The TSA recently detained a passenger who was attempting to board a flight carrying a slide rule, compass, and calculator...
They suspected he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and that he was a member of the Al-ge-bra movement.
Why do golfers carry a spare pair of socks with them?
In case they get a hole in one.
Why does a phlebotomist carry a red pen?
I carry a notice with me to let other people know about my anxiety disorder.
It's my social insecurity card
Why did coffee start carrying a gun?
Because it gets mugged every day
(Courtesy of my 10 year old).
If a person carries a pole with a flag that says "I like to be dominated"
... does that mean it's a substandard?
Why did the nurse carry around a red crayon?
A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane.
The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
"Hey son, why did the sea monster eat not just one, but FIVE ships carrying a cargo of potatoes?" Grimacing, he replied, "I don't know dad, why?"
"Because who can stop at just one potato ship?!"
What's squared up and can carry a heavy load?
What do you call the bat that carries Coronavirus
What do you call the knife carried by your girlfriend?
I carry around a level around on my key chain.
Keeps me level headed.
Lame jokes are in my heart some times they hit some times they miss.
My genius friend, who I call Dr Awkward, once built a drone to carry people.
As he flew in it, I said to everyone, “That’s my pal-in-drone!”
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
Law enforcement officials recently reported the hijacking of a truck carrying Viagra. Authorities are looking for the culprits.
They suspect the hijackers are a gang of hardened criminals.
My high school daughter was caught sneaking alcohol into school and when questioned said it was her "best friend's" and she was just carrying it.
l'm just proud my daughter still thinks of me as her best friend!
Can you carry 20 liters of water?
I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet …
I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
My math teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a calculator, and a ruler!
The FBI charged her with weapons of math instruction.
They really threw the book at her…
News just in, a lorry carrying onions has sheded its load all over the M1 motorway.
Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on
What weighs nothing but is hard to carry?
Why do pirates carry a sword?
Because swords can't walk.
A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway.
Onlookers are said to be stunned, Bewildered, Dumbfounded, Astonished, Startled, Speechless, and Amazed
This summer when I was at the olympics I saw a man carrying a large pole so I asked: “Oh are you a pole vaulter?”
And he said “no I’m German but how did you know my name was Walter?”
What do you call an ionic compound carrying a gun?
A salt with a deadly weapon
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging, a few years ago.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
Why did the guy get arrested carrying sodium chloride and a 9 volt?
Because they charged him with assalt and battery!
What is a disease only fish carry?
Why did the nurse carry a red marker with her?
In case she had to draw blood.
Why did the doctor carry a red marker with him?
In case he had to draw blood.
What do you call the bat that carries Coronavirus
Why did the golfer carry spare pants?
In case he got a hole in one
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
