Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st0len_meme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?

it was over dressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zazend15c
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar

... He came, he saw, he conquered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Did you see that post about Caesar's salad?

It's a real cut up...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daveAnonSolo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.

Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."

(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvegas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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How do you make a Caesar salad?

You take a regular salad and stab it 27 times

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wernershnitzl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers

And says "Give me five beers".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BumperBabyAngel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.

β€˜Now its a real β€˜Caesar’ salad’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipoca-queimada
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?

Because he had so many lesions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,

β€œDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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What kind of tomatoes do you put on a Caesar salad

Roma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NostalgicStingray
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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What do you get when you cross Trump and Caesar?

Orange Julius

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brooke_pollockkk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Caesar Salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ureverypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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How was Rome split in two?

With a pair of Caesars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Couch for sale. Fit for a caesar.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LumpiestEntree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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Chicken Caesar!
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Thought I would toss this one in
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?

I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?

Because she lived in the Nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/princezornofzorna
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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When your friend Caesar tells you a good joke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbem2016
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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I might get stabbed over this:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/photoguy423
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Should I give it another stab or leaf it as is?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fliskiedatboi28
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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How do short people cut their pizza?

With Little Caesar’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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A bowl of knives is a caesar salad
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bengoumaII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?

Hail Caesar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France

Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmEdgy03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress

Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kisskissyesyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?

Vici, vidi, veni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEluminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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Caesar's seizures
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What did the Caesar say to the Senate?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WitchSavannah
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar

who said to his Sous Chef, β€œEtouffΓ©e Brute?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piratesox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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What did Little Caesar say right before he was punched?

"You want a pizza me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why did Ceaser go on a hike?

Because he wanted to Rome

Edit: fixed typo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnknownFor3818
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?

They played rock paper Caesar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What do you call a rooster looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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The Romaine Empire has Fallen... Caesar is dead...

Lettuce pray.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?

They always kill me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricICX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Julius Caesar walks into a bar...

He says, β€œI’ll have a martinus.”

Bartender asks β€œYou mean martini?”

Julius Caesar replies β€œIf I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar

He came, He saw and He conquered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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