Business Game Puns

(Sorry For Not Posting, I Was Busy)

1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

2. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

3. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

4. I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

(Source For All Puns: https://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1)

Last night I was playing an online game with some of my son's friends, and one randomly texted on the in-game chat: "I just ate an apple. RAW!"

I wrote back, "That's hard core!"

Nobody laughed. At least, that I saw. :(

Edit: Holy moly, it gets mediocre response two days ago when it's posted, then it blows up over the weekend. Thanks for all the upvotes, folks! Love all the other terrible jokes & puns on here!

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question ?”

“Yeah, sure, what is it ?” replied the man.

“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know.  Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed.

Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $9.00 please?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed.   Think about why you’re being so selfish.  I work long, hard hours every day and don’t have time for such childish games.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning.  How dare he ask such questions only to get some money.

After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son.  May be there was something he really needed to buy with that $9.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.  “Are you asleep son?” he asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man.  “It’s been long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $9.00 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming.

“Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.  The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20.00 now.  Can I buy an hour of your time?”

The father looked upon his son with a smile as he walked towards the door and said "Overtime is double pay."

Had a 2nd kid lately so I had to up my dad joke game.

We were driving down the highway and my wife noticed a bunch of trucks for 'Trees, Inc'. She said "Sheesh, how many of these Trees, Inc trucks are there?'

I shrugged and said 'It's a growing business'