What does a Linkin Park fan and a Buddhist monk have in common?

They both know that in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredkid03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..

..it came with no attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist monk, a Catholic priest, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The rabbit says "I think I'm a typo"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tao1976
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist walked up to a hot dog stand...

And said β€œmake me one with everything”

-Robin Williams.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ster80
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I met a buddhist who was tragically afraid of inner peace...

... he was zen-ophobic!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist monk leave the monastery...

Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.

One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"

To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog cart vendor?

The monk said "make me one with everything."

Monk handed him a $20 bill. Vendor handed him his hot dog.

The monk asked for his change.

The vendor replied "change must come from within."

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallmon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?

A: Because they have no attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Buddhist that eats Doritos?

A Chip-monk 🐿

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/playround
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.

Unfortunately it was a Type-O.

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
did you hear about the buddhist who refused novocain during a root-canal?

he wanted to transcend dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasismyname_
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My Buddhist friend just gave me a β€œNirvana” scented candle.

It smells like Teen Spirit.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
if someone were to make an anti- Buddhist hate group

YOLO would be a really good name

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Huxm_luxl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can buddhists use e-mail?

Yes, but they can't use attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Buddhist potatoes?

Medi-taters.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaun_snough
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a Buddhist monk who refused anaesthetic during his root canal surgery. His aim?

Transcend dental medication

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualAustralian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens to hillbilly buddhists when they die?

Reintarnation

πŸ‘︎ 341
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scratchie_Chan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
🚨︎ report
How do Buddhist monks send emails? reddit.com/r/Buddhism/com…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wurzlsep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
HELP WANTED: Zen Buddhist Monk

Inquire within.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoboNerdOK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Lifehack for Buddhists

Get Reddit, easy Karma

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently became a buddhist...

... but I still celebrate Christmas. So when December comes around I sit under the Christmas tree, wrap myself in wrapping paper and live in the present. 🎁🌲

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Bloke
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2015
🚨︎ report
How do buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metnem
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The Doors, in 1966, heard the news about Buddhist monks performing acts of self immolation. After listening to what was occurring, they decided to make a heartfelt song to express their solidarity with the Buddhist plight.

And that’s why we have a song called β€œLight my Friar”.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist monk chant after eating mushrooms?

My silly om, my silly om...

(Mycelium)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirillsimin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Juan met a Buddhist monk who told him to look within.

Because it takes Juan to know Juan.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatrickKnight99
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
🚨︎ report
An Englishman, a Scotsman, A Welshman, An American, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, a South African, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Buddhist went to a nightclub.

The doorman said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the buddhist say to the hotdog vendor ?

Make me one with everything

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist monk ask for at the hotdog stand?

β€œMake me one with everything.”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog vender

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog vender and says, make me one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BRANDONPRUSOW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a Buddhist order a hot dog.

He said, "Make me one with everything. "

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a Buddhist pizza restaurant recently.

I asked the waiter to make me one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't Zen Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist walks into a pizza parlour and says, "make me one with everything"
πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist refused anaesthetic during a root canal procedure. His goal?

Transcend dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InfidelCastrato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did a Buddhist say to a hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Larax22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What kind of pizza would a Buddhist monk order?

one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A Buddhist monk refused novacaine at the dentist.

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OverZealousPasta
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do Buddhist monks send emails ?

They remove all attachments

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sethpaing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk that refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?

Make me one with everything

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulinoG13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Zen Buddhist say to the Subway worker?

Make me one with everything.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoTheSpiderboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Girthquake6999
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The Buddhist didn't like the new vacuum he bought.

It came with too many attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gameronomist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report

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