Breaking news! Chris Hemsworth did NOT, in fact, badly injure himself while lifting weights.
He was just a little Thor.
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard
The actor from Breaking Bad decided to experiment with drugs in order to know how to better preform his character.
Breaking News: Missing German boy found in sewer
Germans located him after hearing the boy making guttural sounds.
After police removed him, his father says he is “doing well”.
The family is relieved that their nightmare was really just a pipe dream.
Germany: Missing boy found alive in sewer after eight days
BREAKING: North Korean Leader in vegetative state following surgery.
They're going to start calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
apparently, the survivors are marooned.
A mime was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures that you end up in the cast.
What does a religious burglar say after successfully breaking in to a house?
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."
"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.
Breaking News In The Sports World:
Olympic finalist in the new event Camping Aquipment Setup quits and forfeits 1st place, 'It was just two tents.'
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
On a video about breaking world border in Minecraft
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!
They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.
I just read about the most ground breaking invention in the history of humanity
BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.
They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.
Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.
Authorities are saying it's race-related.
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
My son went crazy running around the neighborhood breaking small twigs in everyone's yard one night...
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.
Breaking news in Wisconsin, farmers are no longer legally allowed to roll bales of hay
Apparently the cows weren't getting a square meal
BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Kia Motors have joined forces to produce a kit set electric car in sweden...
... they are calling it the iKia
My Home Depot Manager got us together for serious store meeting. He asked who was breaking all the lumber in the wood aisle.
Me: (tightening my black belt) I don’t know but he must be pretty strong.
When breaking in a new pair of shoes..
..you're just putting them through their paces
Breaking news! Cheese factory explosion in France!
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the black sea, killing all 350 on board.
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 354 aboard
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
...apparently, the survivors are marooned.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast
A mime was arrested in my town after getting into a bar fight and breaking his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
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