Eduardo Toda y Gรผell (Spanish Egyptologist, 1855-1941) who discovered and opened the intact tomb of Sennedjem,standing with ancient Egyptian mummies at Boulaq Museum,1885
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/closecaxton
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anywhereiroa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leckzsluthor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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French fries werenโ€™t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/frexyincdude
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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You've been hit by
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smoffatt34920
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐Ÿ˜‚

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eoussama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But thatโ€™s comparing apples to oranges

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/scarf_spheal
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rix27_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when theyโ€™re not dating anybody?

Theyโ€™re on standbi

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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A queen size statement.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Flight-less
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ah1887
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shampy311
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Paulie_Felice
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or รŸ?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Amazekam
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TR1771N
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ridi86
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rj104
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sharmaji1301
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Onfour
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?

Or would that be too forward thinking?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/afunkysquirrel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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Covid problems
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theincrediblebou
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lance986
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JhopkinsWA
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Spi__
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/designjeevan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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I had a vasectomy because I didnโ€™t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/demotrek
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Utkarsh_Anand2004
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/djcarves
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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For Gotham
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FreeHugsXD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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The Ancient Romans II
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sk2ec
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTreelo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคญ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kitkatty0309
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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My husband said our infant son could microwave...

And then shook his arm really fast.

(True story, please groan with me.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Raw0nion
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThoughtPumP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Naan-negotiable
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sjmaeff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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School Was Clothed
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kennydoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Majorpain2006
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tanglwyst
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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