I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
Because it's a Joint effort
I told her it’s so he can cut corners
An air con
"No thanks, just looking around."
Ok boomerang.
Yoga pants.
Because they’re marsh-malleable.
We really need to raise the bar.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Doughnuts
(Sorry) (not sorry)
You see the crack of dawn.
He told me I was full of shit
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Meat in the middle
He suffers from low shelf esteem.
I'm glad they are giving him the support he kneeds.
They would have no point.
But I remembered when all came flooding back to me.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent
I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.
I told him to do it.
He had his shoes on so he said:"I don't want to shoe off"
Your Mercedes bends
Ok, so this one needs a bit of buildup.
At the time (a week or so ago) I was making a homebrew item for DnD (for the uninformed, Homebrew are custom made items/classes/spells to use in a DnD game at the discretion of the DM (Dungeon Master)).
I had shown this item (shameless plug) to my friend (who is also the DM of the campaign I'm in now) in the hopes of using it in the campaign. He had pointed out that the item was a bit OP for it's cost and that the homebrew page I had made for it was too long. We were discussing ways to improve both the item and the page, and then got on the topic of magic items in general.
It went something along the lines of this:
DM: ... you can't really destroy a magic item before removing the magic from it. Like, you could try to melt down a magic sword for example, but all that would really do is make it too hot to hold. You could even bend it, but not outright destroy it.
Me: That's gotta be one pissed off magic sword.
DM: I mean, yeah, if it's sentient.
Me: Maybe it got so angry at being bent, that it gains sentience just spite you or something.
DM: Well, yeah maybe.
And this, people of reddit, is when the PUN, popped into my head.
Me: *leans in* you could say that the sword gained sentience cuz it got... bent out of shape.
A second or two of silence, and I see the pun register in his head, and I fucking lost it.
I then laugh for a straight minute. After about ten secunds of me busting a gut, he said "Aight, Imma head out"
We're cool now, but he really didn't want to talk to me the next day.
Nevertheless a banana!
They’ll bend over backwards.
That would be its utensil strength.
Just go around the bend.
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I’m naked and wet and can’t find the soap
Doughnuts
The crack of dawn
We really need to raise the bar.
We really need to raise the bar
We really need to raise the bar.
They need to raise the bars
