What did batman say to robin before they got into the bat mobile?

Robin get in the car.

πŸ‘︎ 411
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a baseball bat have no parents?

Because it's just a Bat, man!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?

For a bat, every room is the batroom.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teduh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Mess with the bat you get the gat
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus is now all over the world

But China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 332
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Said_It_in_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat

Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"

"I don't know, bud, what?"

"Your legs."

Well done, kid.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papagayo_blanco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Bat htub
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobetron676
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziMen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know the name Bat is actually a short form...

The full name is Bathew

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Bats not only cause Corona, they could also cause bad puns. v.redd.it/rejaq9nx7sx41
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a bat's favorite spice?

Oreguano.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Baseball bat
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurtisViridian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
So proud of my 6 year old. While teaching her to hit a softball, I told her to β€œsquare up on the ball”

She replied β€œthe ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her β€œno, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says β€œI’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itsjorgehernandez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Hitler get whacked with a baseball bat?

Because he did Nazi it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanky_swanker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are bats so bad at business?

They always fly-by-night.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
To the bat mobile!!
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samoneggs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
All countries got Coronavirus...
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirt_T
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What has a little penis and hangs down? A bat. What has a big penis and hangs up?

click

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZZEZ73
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Rare diseases carried by bat droppings

Be careful to avoid bat droppings. You can catch a rare disease from them that can drive you batshit crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiaor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Baseball Bat (Visual Pun)
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastLeatherwing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Htub
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RYDOGE21_YT_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Top Dad Jokes list, some of the best ones:

One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken go to KFC during lunch hour with a baseball bat?

It wanted to beat the crowd.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins

Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
From wizard to vampire to bat…
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shloks7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye...

Remove their brains from their skulls and everyone loses their mind...

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
People tend to not be too fond of the movie Ferngully, but I think it just has a bat rap
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herurumeruru
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Baseball bat
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Serve alcohol at a party and nobody bats an eye

Serve laxatives at a party and everybody loses their shit!

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lachdog982
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Yellow bats indeed v.redd.it/xfnnv4h3ywl11
πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatoGuy339
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a bat fly today.

It hit a home-run.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyborgladiator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the rat say when he saw a bat?

β€œOh my!! I just saw an angel!!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: β€œSee that cow barn over there?”

β€œI didn’t.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingWilliamVI
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Bat-problem

Robin: Batman, Batman, there is a problem with the Batmobile, it does not start.

Batman: Must be the battery.

Robin: What is a tery????

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geekcommunicant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Me: Dad I have bats in my attic

Dad: baseball or softball?

Real life encounter with my dad. The legends are true. Dad jokes prevail.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crisp-high-five
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Made it while watching BvS. Idk why people hate it, it's a good movie
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazertheRedditer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye

But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WattoNUFC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Robin: β€œThe Batmobil isn’t starting!” Batman: β€œDid you charge the battery?”

Robin: β€œWhat the hell is a tery?”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDarthVader
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you explain getting hit with a baseball bat made of sound?

It Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pepisboi420
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
All of the world eventually got the virus

But China got it right off the bat

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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