Why should everybody avoid solar energy?
Because at the end of the day it's not worth it
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︎ May 27 2021
Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
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︎ May 14 2021
Iβve recently discovered Iβm terrified of elevators, so Iβm taking steps to avoid them.
I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but Iβm slowly getting over them!
UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers.
You make the world a happier place! π€©
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︎ Nov 12 2020
How do you avoid getting ticked?
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︎ May 13 2021
What room do ghosts avoid?
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 02 2021
How do you avoid incoming attacks in videogames?
You take advantage of dodgy programming...
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︎ Mar 05 2021
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
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︎ Jan 26 2021
A robot from the future decided to avoid eliminating its target for as long as possible
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I avoid bike trails after dark.
They're full of cycle paths.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
What STD can fishermen never avoid?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 13 2021
What's the best way to avoid getting killed by sheep?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 28 2021
I just printed out a bunch of pamphlets on how to avoid saying the wrong things and getting into a fight.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 18 2020
To avoid getting addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers...
...it's time to quit cold turkey.
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What kind of restaurants do Vampires avoid?
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Why does Santa avoid wearing masks?
Because he is Claus-trophobic!
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Due to the pandemic, we should all avoid buying butter.
Together we can stop the spread.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
To avoid taking down my Xmas decorations...
....I am turning my house into a Chinese restaurant.
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 28 2020
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
Itβs also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
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︎ Dec 10 2020
You should avoid beef when trying to lose weight
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Most folks avoid the beach for dolphin hunting
Itβs for legal porpoises
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Don't buy any kind of fungi. They take up too mushroom.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
Why should you avoid a pirate laundromat?
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︎ Sep 20 2020
I always try to avoid cracks in the pavement
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︎ Jul 30 2020
I made a bet that I could avoid horses for a week
Needless to say, I ignored all the neigh sayers.
π︎ 27
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︎ Sep 05 2020
How do you avoid clickbait?
π︎ 7k
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︎ Oct 18 2018
Want to know the best way to avoid accidents?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 23 2020
As a chubby guy, I always avoid wearing skinny jeans.
I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.
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︎ Aug 04 2020
After a procedure... Doctor: Avoid strenuous activity for the next two weeks
Me: Can I play piano?
Doctor: Yes you can.
Me: Wow! Thanks! I never could before.
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︎ Mar 03 2020
Why should you avoid hunting deers with a shotgun?
Because if you encounter a deer who has a shotgun, it's best to just leave them alone.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Why should people with heart disease avoid sleeping outdoors?
Because camping is in tents.
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Why do anti vaxxers avoid listening to Queen?
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?
They donβt want to get the sheets!
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I'm selling books on how to avoid saying the wrong thing and getting into fights.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Which interview should you avoid asking Clark Kent to give?
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
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︎ May 08 2020
What do you call a Sith Lord that avoids conflict?
π︎ 37
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︎ Jan 01 2020
Sometimes I go to the bathroom at work to avoid responsibilities
I like to say I'm stalling
π︎ 64
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︎ Sep 23 2019
How do you avoid death?
You stay in the living room.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
Introverts are social vegans who avoid meet
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel in 1939 called "Gadsby", which completely avoids use of the letter "E".
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 04 2020
Iβve discovered the secret to avoid crying while chopping onions:
Try not to get emotionally attached.
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Iβm deathly afraid of elevators, in fact I take a lot of steps to avoid them.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Why do deer avoid bakeries?
Because they've been told that people eat doe-nuts, there.
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︎ Nov 01 2019
I asked my Dad βhow do I avoid the draft?β
He said put a sweater on.
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︎ Jan 03 2020
I've always had an irrational fear of stairs, but I'm taking steps to avoid it.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
What do ghosts do to avoid dying in car crashes?
They buckle their sheet belts!
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︎ Oct 06 2019
So my dad asks: do you know how to avoid clickbait?
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︎ Dec 23 2018
I just printed a bunch of pamphlets on how to avoid conflicts and not say the wrong thing.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Why should people with heart disease avoid sleeping outdoors?
Because camping is in tents.
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︎ Apr 06 2020
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