Amidah Puns

Hello, I am pretty lost.

How can I recite the Amidah at home, I ordered Tefillin (waiting for them to come) and I want to recite the Amidah daily.

How can I start ?

If you say any other (daily) prayers please tell me too. I'm trying to learn :)

Most versions/information about the amidah say a weekday prayer. What does that constitute in Judaism? Does it include Sunday? Not include Sunday? If it doesn't, what prayer is said on Sunday?

My father is a Jewish Atheist (he was raised somewhat religious but went otd in college) who for as long as I can remember has had a negative perception of organized religion and vehemently tried to discourage me when I was first becoming religious. So it occurred to me that when I say during the amidah "וְלַמַּלְשִׁינִ֣ים אַל־תְּהִ֣י תִקְוָ֗ה וְכׇל–הָרִשְׁעָה֙ כְּרֶ֣גַע תֹּאבֵ֔ד וְכׇל־אֹיְבֵ֥י עַמְּךָ֖ מְהֵרָ֣ה יִכָּרֵ֑תוּוְהַזֵּדִים֙ מְהֵרָ֔ה תְעַקֵּ֣ר וּתְשַׁבֵּ֔ר וּתְמַגֵּ֣ר וְתַכְנִ֔יעַ בִּמְהֵרָ֖ה בְיָמֵֽינוּ׃בָּרוּךְ֙ אַתָּ֣ה יהו֔ה שׁוֹבֵ֥ר אוֹיְבִ֖ים וּמַכְנִ֣יעַ זֵדִֽים׃", I'm actually praying for Hashem to cause him suffering which makes me feel very morally conflicted because on one hand I love my father and I hope for Hashem to have mercy on him, but on the other given that the amidah is such a big part of our religion it would feel heretical to omit it. Would it be permissible if I omit this prayer in light of this dilemma?

I really need your answer. totally no joking around.

I’m tryna to get back into prayer after not going to temple since i was much younger, and i’ve mostly been able to recall the tunes and words of prayers, but when i’m looking at the Amidah, only the first two blessings feel familiar to me. Is this just my memory, or do reform jews not do the whole thing?

I remember learning in the rambam about if you're traveling or aren't able to pray the full amida there's a short in the middle blessing that you say in addition together with the first three and the last three blessings. Is there somewhere where it's put altogether Easy-to-Read?

And Is that the halacha today?

Amidah & the Ancestors

Is there any significance to the Amidah only specifically mentioning Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, & the 4 Matriarchs

& not for example including Moses Miriam & Aaron

Or is it just for brevity

Also why is Jacob not referred to as Israel

My understanding btw is that the Amidah is relatively new ie after the 1st exile when we could no longer sacrifice at the temple, or was it after the Roman exile ?

Thanks. From 'Peace'.

I understand: "Please keep my tongue from evil, and my lips from speaking deception..." but then I'm not sure what the following lines mean: "and to those who curse me, let my soul be silent, and let my soul like dust to all let be".

What are the ways that I can interpret these lines of prayer? Thank you very much.

(I am not fluent in Hebrew, so I apologize if I have been given a poor translation.)

And who composed the melody and fixed the text of the prayer recited in many reform services as "Avot v'Imahot," as seen here?: http://youtu.be/1LJyvIRKUH4

He also went 14-16 at the free throw line and had 12 rebounds.

Does anyone have in depth sources for why the matriarchs are excluded from the Amidah? I know some reform/conservative shuls have amended prayer to include them but would this be actually frowned upon in Orthodox/MO circles?? The amidah itself is just a conglomerate of different rabbis tacking in significant supplications so how did the matriarchs get excluded from this...

Shalom everyone, I know that Rosh ha-Shanah has already started in many parts of the world, so I'm gonna be brief. Could anyone point me to the English text of the Rosh ha-Shana Amidah prayer, including the Malchiyot, Zikronot and Shofarot parts please? I'm in dire need of the text since I've just found out I don't currently have a machzor on my hands and all the links I've come across are either misleading or offering me to order a paper copy of a machzor from bookstores. It'd be really great if someone just gave the text of the special Rosh ha-Shanah Amidah prayer. Sorry for any inconvenience, and may all of you be written into the Book of Life. Shanah tovah!

So, um, yeah, I didn't think I'd ever be the one to ask this kind of question, but here I go:

For a couple of months from now, I've been invited to attend a bat mitzvah at a reform synagogue. The thing is, I've never stepped foot in a reform synagogue before, ever.

My background is Modern Orthodox, so it's not like I'm unfamiliar with traditional prayer services. I attend minyan daily. I'm just aware that Reform Services are going to be different, and I'd like to know how different.

EDIT: Most important question: how long are they? I get upset when shabbos morning minyan is over 2 hours.

Edit 2: Electric Boogaloo @mods, maybe this might something to pin up in the wiki/sidebar? I feel like this many answers here are helpful

Do your worst!

Can some explain or give sources to authentic Jewish prayers. I am seeing different things online from different sources.

Please and thank you.

Shalom/Salam.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

Shalom/gruss to you all, I have been curious about Judaism for years, first from a historical/academic point of view and then gradually from a spiritual perspective. It’s felt like sunrise in the South Pole — a small light on the horizon that gradually gets brighter until it finally becomes clear, and fills the sky. Tonight I’m taking the first official steps after years of reading, studying Hebrew, following Israeli politics, and starting to read the Tanakh. I’ll be tuning in to the local congregation’s service, and hopefully approaching the rabbi if there’s virtual oneg to talk about the path forward. I hope by this time in 2022 I will be a Jew.

UPDATE: Shabbat was wonderful, the rabbi and congregation are very open and accepting. I was expecting Amidah to be recited but silent Amidah was nice. Hearing the Hebrew in prayers and songs sped through was jarring, being used to hearing Hebrew spoken in language courses and the news. Overall, I’m excited for the new (Gregorian) year

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.