Saw this in r/memes, thought it should be here (might be a repost, I aint sure)
Southerners pronounce Aunt "Aint"
We were over at my dad's sister's house (We'll call her Sophie) My dad asked us (My sister and I): "Do you know whose house are we at?" My sister: "Aint Sophie's" Dad: "Well then whose is it?"
Me: Facepalm with slight chuckle
Did you hear about the guy who had lots of phone sex?
He caught hearing aids.
To the guy who stole my antidepressants...
I hope you're happy now
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.
Cops have nothing to go on.
Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in College— that’s why she says the first comment)
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship
Why does Santa need so many umbrellas?
Because of all the rain, dear
Some people make fuss about Pepsi like its addictive and..
Coke aint
I always warn my kids to never trust their shadows...
They're always acting shady.
If Fitbit and Rolex teamed up to make a luxury/premium fitness tracker...
...would they call it a Swolex?
Dad Joke on the road
Driving down the freeway with my sisters in the car.
I asked, "Hey, you guys like Country music, right?"
"Yes," they responded.
I took my son out fishing today...
He said, "Dad, the fish just aint biting here, can't we go out a little further?"
I looked sternly at him and responded, "Son, catching fish in deep waters is eel-advised."
