I keep reading The Lord of the Rings over and over again and I can't stop.

I guess it is just a force of Hobbit

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eater-of-Tacos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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A couple days ago I went for a walk beside a pasture and seen a lone cow when I went again today he wasn't there

I guess he got a promotion for being the only one outstanding in his field

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jgoosey217
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Grandparents love telling their life stories over and over and over again
๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ImmaMess13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again

DJ vu

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KrazyKoen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...

Ahh. I get it. Itโ€™s a viscous cycle.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PocketCornbread
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I've said it before and i'll say it again, Michael Jackson is not good.

He's bad

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/connor4rell
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MetalJunkie101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.

I think it's preying man tits.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/danarchist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.

also in the news:

Patients who have died or been admitted to intensive care with Covid-19 have been found to be deficient in a vitamin found in spinach, eggs, and hard and blue cheeses, raising hopes that dietary change might be one part of the answer to combating the disease.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What is it called when you die and are born again as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 346
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Valkyrie1500
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: โ€œNoah, it is my wish that you build another ark.โ€

Rather worried, Noah said โ€œBut my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?โ€

โ€œNo, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.โ€ Said the Lord.

โ€œThen why another ark?โ€ Asked Noah.

โ€œI wish for this ark to only house fish.โ€ The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded โ€œOkay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.โ€

โ€œBut not just any fish; only carp.โ€ The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied โ€œUh- okay my Lord.โ€

โ€œOne more thing.โ€ The Lord said unto him โ€œit needs to have multiple levels.โ€

โ€œAre you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?โ€ Noah pressed.

And God said: โ€œI want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.โ€

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dongwaffler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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The Indianapolis Colts lost again today, and now everyone is mad at Google Maps...

...because any idiot could have told them to take Teddy Bridgewater over Philip Rivers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PolytroposJ
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Iโ€™ve said it before, and Iโ€™ll say it again...

I love to reiterate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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If you get released from a mental institutional, and then get committed again-

is that re-psychoing?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/guavacadus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you're Canadian when you go into the bathroom and again when you come out.. What are you whilst you're in there?

European

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rare_Breed721
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Dad: Son, what be a pirate's favorite restaurant? Son: Arrrrby's! Dad: Correct! And what be a pirate's favorite animal? Son: Arrrrmadillo! Dad: Right again! But what be a pirate's favorite body part? Son: Easy. The arrrrrm!

Dad: You'd think it would be the arrrrm, but he's rather fond of the booty!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 263
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wileydan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Watching John Wick 2 the other night. While Keanu and Common are fighting while both holding the knife the tables turn and Keanu flips the knife around and thrusts it into Commons chest...again while both holding the grip. To which I turn to to my family and say

At least the both have something "in" common.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PoiSINNEDsoul73
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
After a long and terrible Autumn, the Sun was shining once again and the trees were finally put at ease.

They were releaved.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/greedygoyem
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again?

This version has a virus.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 70
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BattlefrontStrategy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.

It was touch and go from there on.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I walked into the kitchen this morning and I saw my wife was cooking breakfast in her slippers again.

I thought to myself "I really should buy her a fry pan "

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AustralianGroan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 15 2020
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An old guy was confused and called me with the wrong number, so as a joke I gave him my brother's number. He called my brother, who ingeniously played the joke back and gave him my number. After the old guy dialed me again, my wife asked, "Who called?"

A boomer rang.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PrimeMvr
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Lego store near me just opened up again and it was crazy!

People were lined up for blocks!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Joker6983
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Today I met a fish and the meeting went pretty well. I told him I would like to meet him again, but it got upset and swam away.

I guess, "I'll catch you later" wasn't the right phrase.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/manantyagi25
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Itโ€™s been written before and Iโ€™m sure it will be written again, the dry erase board is so remarkable...

*written on before...*written on again... some jerk keeps rubbing it off ๐Ÿ˜

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rachelsfriendfriend
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someoneโ€™s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.

Thatโ€™s karma in real life

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/superto3
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2020
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My wife and I have decided never to talk again about my addiction to aviation puns.

Itโ€™s a soar subject.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:

"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 60
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My girlfriend broke up with me and said she never wanted to see me again, so I left and took her wheelchair with me

Guess who just came crawling back?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, and cross the road again?

It was a dirty double crosser.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BoxfullofBuns
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I took the Agnetha from ABBA our for dinner once. I bumped into her again last week and asked if she enjoyed it and would she like to go for dinner again. She said...

โ€œThere's no regret If I had to do the same again I would, my friend, For a Nandos.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cwwspurs
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I keep accidentally sending my friends the same memes over and over again

I think I have short term meme-ory loss

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UsefulAccount3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man threw cheese at me and I thought thatโ€™s not mature of him. He came along again and this time he threw a pint of milk at me. HOW DAIRY
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JackTMJones
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Bar talk: Dude 1: What was that song by Eric Burdon again; something about love is on fire? Dude 2: Yeah. Yeah. "Love is a burnin' thing, and it makes a fiery ring..."

Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jan_Tik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was helping a buddy install his backyard fence, when I realized I screwed up and had to do it again.

I said, โ€œSorry about the repost.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 86
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We used to write on scrolls, then paper, and now weโ€™re back to scrolling again.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DragonVision
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just once i want to hear a tv chef take a pinch of herbs and say "thyme" *second pinch "and thyme again".
๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/si1enced
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My sister is really indecisive. When I bought her that red phone cover she always wanted she returned it and bought a blue one, then she returned that one and bought the red one again!

I knew that would be the case.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chongdog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A rope a walks into a bar and the bartender points to a sign, says "Can't you read?! No Ropes allowed". The rope leaves the bar, ties himself into a bow and messes up his hair and walks back in. The bartender says, " ain't you that rope again"?! The rope replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed not"!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/goodboyBill
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™ve said it before, and Iโ€™ll say it again...

I love to reiterate.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I said it once and Iโ€™ll say it again.

it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honkykat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've said it once and I'll say it again...

it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/devildaredmeto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I have said it before and I'll say it again

it before

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LettersOnYourScreen
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've said it before and I'll say it again.

It

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brosthetic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've said it before and I'll say it again,

I've said it before.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 99
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SleepyBear1010
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™ve said it before, and Iโ€™ll say it again.

It again.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Paladin_of_Freedom
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I've said it once and I'll say it again

It.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mateybob
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I said it once and I'll say it again.

It

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GodMustafi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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