My billy goat used to eat empty cans of adhesive..

But now he’s glue tin free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I just read a book about the proper application of adhesive substances

I just cant put it down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hey-reddit-im-dad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Some teachers invented a brand of non-adhesive chewing gum.

Unfortunately, it didn't stick around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zatosu_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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I finally purchased a new tube of Fixodent Denture Adhesive Cream for my wife and me!

It was good to strengthen our bond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...

Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bballcj2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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This sub really seems to enjoy adhesive jokes

Must be the glue that keeps them sticking around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClimbingCactus
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Did you hear the joke about adhesive?

It's pretty tacky!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickyniceguy1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
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I bought some adhesive bandages in Canada.

I got some Band-"eh"ds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellyjandrews
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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I was trying to come up with a joke involving adhesive...

But I couldn't think of a tacky punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XOIIO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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Why did the celiac get so excited when she received 2 free 5 packs of adhesive?

Glue, ten free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stillnoxsleeper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
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Asbestos

Having the floor refinished at work they found asbestos in the adhesive. After workers came out 3 times to remove it all we were still complaining about some being left behind.

I look to my boss and say, "Well, I guess they got it asbestos they could!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rb_wiggles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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More driving with the fiancΓ©e...

"Is that an abandoned adhesive factory?"

"Looks like they didn't stick around long!"

Unlike most of my jokes, she laughed pretty hard and I was more than a little proud of myself.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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My brother and I had to help my dad install a new door.

My brother is not the most handy person so my dad told him to apply the adhesive putty to the concrete, an easy task.

Dad: You're doing a great job with that. Me: Woah. Calm down with the praise. You don't want him to get caulky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamthelolrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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