🔥 Giant Golden Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus) Would be found in the Philippines, average weight of 2.6 pounds and a wing span of 5’6”. Endangered because of poaching and deforestation. Thankfully herbivores.
Recovered pict-capture of Captain Acerodon Wayne - The mysterious Loyalist Night Lord who still protects the Imperium despiste being hunted by it.
The giant golden-crowned flying fox (Acerodon jubatus), also known as the golden-capped fruit bat, is a species of megabat endemic to the Philippines. Since its description in 1831, three subspecies of the giant golden-crowned flying fox have been recognized, one of which is extinct.
Megabat: Acerodon jubatus. Not sure if in awe or scared...
This is my little buddy ACERODON. Named after the big ol' bat genus. Also, he craves blood. Not unlike bat.
imgur.com/OMLtKm5
The largest bat species can have wingspans over a meter, with some approaching 2 meters. Like all other flying foxes, these are fruit eaters. The Giant Golden-crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus) in this picture can have a wingspan up to 1.7m and weigh 1.2kg.
The largest bat species can have wingspans over a meter, with some approaching 2 meters. Like all other flying foxes, these are fruit eaters. The Giant Golden-crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus) in this picture can have a wingspan up to 1.7m and weigh 1.2kg. (x-post from /r/batfacts)
The endangered Golden-capped Fruit Bat (Acerodon jubatus) has a 1.7 m wingspan, but only weighs 1.2 kg. This one is carrying her pup.
The largest bat species can have wingspans over a meter, with some approaching 2 meters. Like all other flying foxes, these are fruit eaters. The Giant Golden-crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon jubatus) in this picture can have a wingspan up to 1.7m and weigh 1.2kg. (x-post from /r/batfacts)
The endangered Golden-capped Fruit Bat (Acerodon jubatus) will fly as far as 30km to find fruit, primarily figs. Fig seeds compose 41% of their droppings on average.
SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!
French fries weren’t cooked in France.
They were cooked in Greece.
This subreddit is 10 years old now.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
What starts with a W and ends with a T
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
What is the scariest tree?
What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?
My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?
I wanna hear your best airplane puns.
Which actor drives the least?
My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?
Or would that be too forward thinking?
These aren't dad jokes...
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.
I won't be doing that today!
I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.
It this sub dead?
There hasn't been a post all year!
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?
You take away their little brooms
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