Well itβs not a law itβs a mandate
Astrologist: Iβm an Aries, whatβs your sign?
Cop: Iβm a LEO.
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
Now he's my father-in-slaw.
Because it's a ducks mouths
turned himself around.
A groundhog
That's against D-Law.
Because theyβre living
Optimus Crime
It's produced by Spotted Dick Wolf.
It's a fuckin rock.
But you guys hated it
Itβs my P.S. de resistance.
Criminal Justice
A small medium at large.
He was Diss-Bard.
Of course it is, Kayleigh. She was born two days ago!
a sister becomes sister in law, a father becomes father in law, a mother becomes mother in law, a daughter and son becomes son and daughter in law, .
But, what does wife become?
Wife becomes the law.
I said, "YOO! That's what's up!"
Only my father in law laughed.
Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.
In short his practice is shrinking.
She's the new Miss Stake.
It didn't pass because it violated the right to bare arms.
He always eats the arms first, however, legislator.
They both have to pass the bar.
But no. I was charged $30 a pop.
How boring!
I told her itβs so he can cut corners
It was good father-son-thyme.
A share riff.
"Add some jam on it," he continued
(Smh this wasn't appreciated enough at r/jokes)
Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.
So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.
He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.
As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.
She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.
This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.
When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.
This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.
The two couldn't be happier!
They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.
One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.
She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.
She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.
A shallot, if you will.
A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.
They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.
The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.
Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.
Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.
He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.
One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.
The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.
She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to
... keep reading on reddit β‘Isaac Mewton.
I mean, Look at the poor fella freezing out there.
I said, βWhoβs gonna sue me?β
Me: That's an odd word to get sick of.
Legal Tender
He regretted not passing the bar.
