I work with my dad, and we fight over the MP3 player sometimes.. Today I made him listen to Tom Petty all day. He comes up with this zinger..

Dad: What did Tom Petty say at the Pearly Gates?

Me: Oh no, dad, please don't. Too soon..

Dad: He said, "Oh I.. want back down, oh I.. want back down."

Me: *facepalm*

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lockexxv
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad popped this zinger today

My dad said that if my mother was Jewish, I would have to do anything he said. I asked, "Why?" he then answered with "because you half Jew." (Have too) Comedy gold dad, gold.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 260
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/girlwithamohawk
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2014
🚨︎ report
I had a zinger at work

One of my coworkers asked my supervisor how she stayed so tan. She replied by saying, "Oh, I have a little Indian in me." I jumped in and said, "What's his name?"

The cherry on top was that one of my other coworkers started laughing and said, "Hey, that's something my dad would say!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ethanholtz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my Sister with a Zinger

My sister was telling me about she met her boyfriend on Tinder (I haven't met him yet). I told her it was a good thing she wasn't Dora the Explorer. After a beat where she gave me a confused look, I explained. If she was Dora, she never would have been able to swipe right.

I was answered with silence and an eye roll that suggested I was going to hell. I only grinned and basked in her hate.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Trogdor6135
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad was flawless with the execution of this zinger...

Me on the phone with my dad - "I got a cat!"

Dad - "What's it's name?"

Me - "Susan."

Dad - "So it's a girl?"

Me - "Of course...her name's Susan. Do you think I'd name a boy cat Susan?"

Dad - "No...I suppose that if it was a boy, it would B. Anthony."

Good one, Dad...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Diiiiirty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Grandpa with a zinger

At my brother's wedding, the wedding party were all given sunglasses with flashing lights around the rims.

Grandpa: What are those?

Brother: They're "seizure glasses"

Grandpa: I seizure glasses, but what are they?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PourSmore
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad just told me this zinger.

I went to mass during the week, the priest was taking rubbish so I poured Bleach on him and he phoned the police for Bleach of the priest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mickfalcon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad had this marine themed anti-vaxxer zinger last night.

We were watching a documentary about the ocean. At one point they described the process of clown fish "vaccinating" themselves to the sting of the anemone by exposing themselves to it from birth.

My dad: "Jenny McCarpy is outraged."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/breakfastburritos4me
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Surely other Dads have dropped this zinger.

Dad: Whatcha reading?

Me: Reddit

Dad: Why you readin it if you already reddit?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tacious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad's Christmas dinner zinger

So my family are eating Christmas dinner together a few days early, when my mum innocently asks for the stuffing. Dad turns to me, "hey mate, your mother wants stuffing!". I lost my appetite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Draygn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Stationary zinger

Spouse: I'm out of staples. I didn't realize how often I used my stapler until I ran out.

Me: I guess you could say, they're a real staple...

Groans were had...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/couchparsnip
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend's dad cooked up this Halloween zinger imgur.com/kDtPgYp
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mkhorn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2013
🚨︎ report
Elderly dad dishes out a zinger at the hospital

This son wheels his 80+ year old dad into the pacemaker clinic and the nurse yells "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" The dad reaches out his hand and whispers "with my fingers."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tmarshall07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my partner at work with this zinger earlier

So we were driving up the highway and an 18 wheeler with a trailer full of ladders drives past. She says I wonder where it's going. Without skipping a beat I retorted with "high places"

Groans ensued.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jonnymoon5
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad's zinger regarding my cat

I went to my parents place today for lunch, during the course of the meal, the conversation turned towards my cat and his goings on, I mentioned a problem he's been having with peeing on my couch, probably due to separation anxiety because it only happens when I'm out of the apartment for extended periods of time. Upon hearing this, the following exchange occurs:

Dad: We don't have that problem.

Me: (Assuming he's referring to their dog) Yea? That's good.

Dad: Yea, your mother was on a cruise all of last week and I didn't pee on the couch once!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mighty_Cthulhu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad, the zinger.

It was a birthday dinner for my fiance. We're all finishing up our food and chatting. I mention this woman I don't like: "... Seriously she was rude, testing me and my limits." Dad interrupts. "What grade did you get?" Ha.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TinyDancingFist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.