Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift

That's why it's called PRESENT.

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Dec 30 2020
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I had a date yesterday. I have one today. And tomorrow... and the day after...

I hate being a calendar.

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👤︎ u/ryzikx
📅︎ Sep 08 2017
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People think I'm religious because I married a nun

I got nun yesterday, nun today, and I'll be getting nun tomorrow

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👤︎ u/ctp722
📅︎ Apr 16 2018
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Dad joked my boss.

My boss always calls everyone "Big Horse" (don't ask me why). Yesterday he emailed me regarding the tonsillectomy I got today, saying "Good luck tomorrow, Big Horse!"

I replied, "Thanks, but after tomorrow, I'll just be a little hoarse."

👍︎ 44
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👤︎ u/donald386
📅︎ Oct 08 2016
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Christmas Dad Joke

My dad used this one yesterday.

Dad: Today is my favorite holiday.

Me: Today isn't a holiday, that's tomorrow.

Dad: today is Christmas Adam! Adam came before Eve, right??

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📅︎ Dec 24 2013
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While discussing basic French...

Me and my dad were trying to remember what the word french word for 'yesterday' is. We had previously said that 'tomorrow' is 'demain', and 'today' is 'aujourd'hui'. My brother then chimes in from across the table and slyly states that 'yesterday' must then be 'oui aujourd'hui'.

Dad was proud.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Apr 17 2014
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