An alternative... was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds.

This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

Joke by Terry Pratchett, ā€˜The Colour of Magicā€™, Prologue.

šŸ‘︎ 9
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/WatashiStickKid
šŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iā€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, ā€œConstipationā€? Well it doesnā€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said ā€œNo, doc, itā€™s dis knee.ā€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donā€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatā€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canā€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donā€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canā€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iā€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightā€¦ 21.

My friend told me, ā€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!ā€ So I said, ā€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!ā€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondā€¦ ionic bond. ā€œTaken, not shared.ā€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaā€™s sleigh cost? $0, itā€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iā€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iā€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatā€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatā€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit āž”

šŸ‘︎ 35
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/kinjago
šŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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