Wlodimir Ledóchowski Puns

Today is the seventh of October! MOASS almost definitely confirmed for today, because the banks are fiiine and the chairman of the French SEC wants a EU-wide ban on PFOF. In other news; to avoid as much crime as possible, I would personally register my shares directly! Look what this day brought us over the past years, and just imagine what that day will bring us in 2021! <3

Events

3761 BC – The epoch reference date epoch (origin) of the modern Hebrew calendar.

1403 – Venetian–Genoese wars: The Genoese fleet under a French admiral is defeated by a Venetian fleet at the Battle of Modon.

1477 – Uppsala University is inaugurated after receiving its corporate rights from Pope Sixtus IV in February the same year.

1513 – War of the League of Cambrai: Spain defeats Venice.

1571 – The Battle of Lepanto is fought, and the Ottoman Navy suffers its first defeat.

1691 – The charter for the Province of Massachusetts Bay is issued.

1763 – King George III issues the Royal Proclamation of 1763, closing Indigenous lands in North America north and west of the Alleghenies to white settlements.

1777 – American Revolutionary War: The Americans defeat the British in the Second Battle of Saratoga, also known as the Battle of Bemis Heights.

1780 – American Revolutionary War: American militia defeat royalist irregulars led by British major Patrick Ferguson in South Carolina.

1800 – French corsair Robert Surcouf, commander of the 18-gun ship La Confiance, captures the British 38-gun Kent.

1826 – The Granite Railway begins operations as the first chartered railway in the U.S.

1828 – Morea expedition: The city of Patras, Greece, is liberated by the French expeditionary force.

1840 – Willem II becomes King of the Netherlands.

1864 – American Civil War: A US Navy ship captures a Confederate raider in a Brazilian seaport.

1868 – Cornell University holds opening day ceremonies; initial student enrollment is 412, the highest at any American university to that date.

1870 – Franco-Prussian War: Léon Gambetta escapes the siege of Paris in a hot-air balloon.

1879 – Germany and Austria-Hungary sign the "Twofold Covenant" and create the Dual Alliance.

1912 – The Helsinki Stock Exchange sees its first transaction.

1916 – Georgia Tech defeats Cumberland University 222–0 in the most lopsided college football game in American history.

1919 – KLM, the flag carrier of the Netherlands, is founded. It is the oldest airline still operating under its original name.

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

BamBOO!

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678