A list of puns related to "Wisconsin Card Sorting Test"
And he came across 4x11 to which I automatically reply 44. He then rebuffs with, "No, four times two."
"Two? Where'd you get two?"
"There." He points at the two 1s. "See? One...two."
I groan. "Apรก, it's not mixed with Roman Numerals."
When going through some of my deceased father's things, I found a card that says "Gold Mouse Story" and "Do you have a little gold Mexican?". This is sort of a shorthand he used to jot down jokes on index cards - a short description and the punchline.
I have no idea what this might refer to so I am asking here. Does this sound familiar? I apologize in advance if it turns out to be racist!
To give a little background: My dad was a truck driver at the time, and he never saw something on the side of the road or that had a "free" sign on it that he could drive by without at least taking a look. My brother in law was a sheriff's deputy. He told this joke to my neighbor, I will try to do it justice.
My dad, his dispatcher(DIS), and lady neighbor(LN) are outside talking and it goes something like this:
Dad: Ugh, What a f--king week. I can not believe it.
LN: What happened?
Dad: I was in Georgia and I saw this cooler in the far corner of the rest area, just as you're about to leave. I looked around and I didn't see anyone... So I figured someone had forgotten it on their picnic... It was a nice ass cooler too. Igloo brand with the heavy duty wheels. It was beautiful.
LN: Let me guess, you took it and the food that was in it?
Dad: Oh god I wish, It was a nice cooler. So, I go over and I'm still looking around in case the owners are still there. So I get to the cooler and I'm thinking "jackpot." The outside looks amazing. So, I go to open it up to see if whatever is inside is salvageable or if i needed to throw it out. I open it up and I jumped back and screamed.
LN: What was in it?
Dad: FEET. HUMAN FEET. I'm thinking what the hell did I just stu...
LN: NU-UH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!
Dad: YES I'M SERIOUS.. So by this time, I'm seriously freaking out and I have no clue what to do. I nearly passed the f--k out. I had no idea what I should do.
LN: (with her hands over her mouth in horror) OMG, WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dad: Well, you know my son-in-law is a police officer in Florida..
LN: mmhmm
Dad: Well, I didn't know what to do so I called him.
LN: What did he tell you to do?!
Dad: Call a tow truck.
LN: ....what?
Dad: Get it, toe truck?!
LN: YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS. OMG I HATE YOU.
DIS: Oh, look at that, M*****, I just got word from the office that you're up for this month's random drug test.
Edit: Formatting errors, sorry guys!
I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.
Edit: I can't spell fixed typos
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"
My brother's birthday is coming up and he is a huge fan of puns. I would like to give him a card with puns in it but unfortunately I don't have a talent for it. Edit: some context. He likes every sort of pun there is, and enjoys video games and food.
He was carrying around some sort of device that beeps a lot during his testing. I asked some of the staff here what is was and they didn't know so I said, "Must be an inspector gadget".
Birthdays were always fun in our household. One of the things that I would always remember were what my dad used to do with the card envelopes. He would stuff them with confetti so that when you opened them, it would just go everywhere. He just passed recently and only after we discovered that birthday envelopes weren't the only envelopes he would do this with. Anytime he had to pay bills, he would stuff the envelope with the same sort of confetti. It just made laugh imagining the guy at the electric company opening it.
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