Wild Game Puns

“They’re the cheapest meat you can find, boy. You can always find them under a buck.”

My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.

football commentator says something about a player's NFL debut being today just before I get crushed ice from the in-door ice maker from the fridge

Dad: "Wait I missed that, WHOSE debut is it today? What was his name again? I couldn't hear!" Me, loudly: "Hang on!" points to fridge "Ice maker." Dad: "WOW his name is Ice Maker?! No wonder he's so tough!"

Now, my dad doesn't often do this so I kinda started at him before slowly saying, "No.....his....it's not...." Then he grinned at me as I felt dumb.

To prove that he was not chicken

QUICK! I need help naming a Greek-themed fanfic/adventure blog for an upcoming Dnd game!

It’s not serious so go wild!

I want to make a funny poster for when my dental office goes to a MN WiLd game together. Any ideas?

Okay so the animals have been on the ark for thirty days and thirty nights and frankly they are getting bored. So to provide entertainment B-Deck challenges C-Deck to a game of football. They get it all set up and begin play. B-Deck makes some early gains but C-Deck is unstoppable. They have Rhinoceros and once he gets going you cant stop him. Soon the first half is over and the score is 24-7. The second half begins and while in the huddle Rhinoceros looks over at B-Decks defensive line and sees Centipede on their defensive line. "Give me the ball," he says, "There aren't going to be any centipedes in the new world because I'm crushing this one right here and right now" The Center snaps the ball and the quarterback hands it off to Rhinoceros who begins charging down Centipede. Centipede rears up grabs Rhinoceros by the legs and SLAMS him to the deck. Ball pops loose, centipede grabs the ball. He's rushing down the field weaving in and out and TOUCHDOWN!!! The crowd goes wild! C-Deck's captain, Lion rushes over and says, "Centipede that was amazing! Where were you in the first half?" "Well I was lacing my shoes."

[during tonight's Minnesota Wild/Chicago Blackhawks game]

Me: "Hey, do you want to hear a hockey joke?"

Eldest sister: "No."

Me: "OK. Just checking."

Your turn! Make me cringe! :D

Dad came by to pick up my niece and nephew who'd stayed overnight, and there was a hockey game on between the Minnesota Wild and Florida Panthers. My dad looked at the TV and says:

Where's Florida?

Southeastern part of the US. Big peninsula. You've probably seen it on a map?

I mean, sure, he was asking for it, but man it felt good to get the master back.

So we went to the Wild's preseason game against the Blues last night and there was a blues player who fell down after blocking a shot with his inner thigh. It reminded me of this goal (http://www.reddit.com/tb/2i8prv) I saw on r/hockey yesterday that JvR scored off his weiner, and told my dad about it.

His response: That's nuts! Good thing it wasn't in their own goal, that would've been a dick move.