A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
Why is dark written with a K not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Do you know why the security guard is not the champion?
Because he is not the best of the mall
Why does a pigeons coo not echo in a concert hall?
I’m not sure why people refer to women’s privates as a flower
Why did the house not make it through the snow?
Because it wasn't built with a 4X4!
Why was the lamp not heavy?
Why should you not fart in Apple store?
Because there are no windows.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
(hAH)
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
She said "Why are you holding that ugly great bee?" and I said "It's not ugly to me"
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
No matter how bad his career gets, why will you not see Rick Astley waiting tables?
Because he'll never run around and dessert you.
Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?
Well, with the extra “T” she would be a statute.
Why is the English weather like a Muslim (not racist)
Because its either sunni or shi'ite
Why does Homelander ("superhero") have to be careful not to jostle his milk?
He knows milkshakes bring The Boys to the yard.
Hopefully you're familiar with the comic/show
Why do the people of Athens not wake up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
Why do kids with ADHD and anger issues not like trigonometry?
They always end up going off on a tangent.
You know why there are Gingerbread men and not Gingerbread women ?
Why did the Russians car not start?
Why 2021 is not going to be so much different from 2020?
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
Why were Mary and Joseph not able to join a conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the Inn!
Why was covid not allowed into a bar?
Why did the sailor not buy the dvd?
I'm not sure why pirates are so interested in this...
Why did the power line not go to prom?
Why is six afraid of seven? (Punchline is not what you think)
Do you know why is it called bad-minton🏸 and not good-minton? • Because it involves "RACKETS"
Why does electricity not like voting?
It doesn’t want to elect ron.
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?
It’s a non-prophet organization.
Why are goulash not good at weight lifting?
Because they aren't stroganoff
Why does the seagull fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then it would be the baygull. (Not my joke)
do you know why Obi-wan Kenobi is called general kenobi and not specific kenobi?
because the sith only deal in absolutes
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Why are sine waves not cosine waves?
cos sine waves are different.
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa
and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...
It must have been the delivery...
Why are pixel not attractive to most men?
They do not have nice curves.
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
Why did sin and tan not go to the party?
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't C in the dark
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because then it would be "darc"
why should not fart in a apple store?
Why is dark spelled with a k and not a c
Because you can’t c in the dark
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
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