What do you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is only falling apart?
Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
“You herd me.”
Father of six here… my kids love dad jokes at the dinner table. Mom is less enthusiastic. Today, my eleven year old decided to get in on the action: “what are twins favorite fruits?”
Pears… And then he proceeded to fall out of his chair laughing. Meanwhile mom wants to know how she could’ve tested for this before getting in too deep.
My friend and I have a love of puns, and he came up with this one today: What is the term for being very surprised that someone sprayed Lysol in your face?
Anti-Septic Shock.
What is the name of the region where people love pasta?
Pastagonia, Argentina.
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
...talking to the wine."
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. That is true love. The heart wants what the heart wants. ❤️
What is a seafood an Italian would love to have?
A moray
I asked my SO if she knew my favorite letter. She said "No, what is it?" I said "It's u." She responded "aww I love youuuuuuuu" To which I replied...
"I love u too. It's my favorite letter."
What I love about r/dadjokes is how wholesome these posts are
Bar talk: Dude 1: What was that song by Eric Burdon again; something about love is on fire? Dude 2: Yeah. Yeah. "Love is a burnin' thing, and it makes a fiery ring..."
Dude 3: I think it was Hotel California. "Last thing I remember, I was running for the door..."
On my grandfather’s request, “What is Love?” was played at his funeral.
Because he had a will, and he Haddaway.
What is a 3 letter word for playful, loyal, and unconditional love?
Dog
What I love about Bob Ross, is that he always has a happy touch on the entire landscape of the art of painting
There are 4 things really important in a relationship. 1 is love, 2 is sex, and what is 3 + 4?
7
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
“You herd me!"
What can you do for a tortoise that was falling in love but now is only falling apart?
Nothing you can do, it’s a turtle eclipse of the heart
