I yelled back "I know all those letters!" Everyone laughed, well except this one guy.
“Because she has no taste.”
I told her she looked exhausted. When you start your day like that you’re tired all day.
I said I looked at the mashed potatoes and the steak was right next to them.
"No, I was hoping you'd just give them to us, for free."
Just give me some kind of stein girl.
"It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "
Dad: "No, I'm actually Norwegian. So close though, you're pretty good at that!"
"Remember the a la mode!"
No, the steaks are too high!
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!"
Everyone laughed...
Well, everyone except this one guy.
I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.
I said just a regular salad would be fine
Tip her, but don’t let her fall
Eileen.
A1C por favor
"And make it snappy."
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"
I said: “I’d rather wrestle for it”.
Waitress: [slaps me a good one across the face] "The men I please are none of your business !"....OOF
That’s assault.
Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!
"No thanks, I don't think the table's hungry."
But hey, it puts food on the table.
She brought a lot to the table.
He responded with a grin, "Did you just assume my tender?"
I don't know whether it's because she likes me or because I dress like a fifth century nomad...
"Isreali good, thank you."
With just the tip
Scene: Dinner for my mom's birthday at a very nice (expensive) restaurant.
Waitress: Your steak comes with a choice of the vegetable of the day or a twice baked potato.
Me: Are twice baked potatoes and refried beans prepared similar ways or is that just a naming coincidence?
W: Laughing Oh my God. Our bartender and I were just talking about funny "dad jokes" on reddit! I didn't expect to hear one in person. Do you use reddit?
M: Umm... Yeah... I actually follow r/dadjokes but I'm not a dad and
W: You should post that joke there!
I have no idea if she will see this but my wife said I had to let everyone know about a redditor interaction. I hope she does because the food was awesome and she was a fantastic waitress beyond being a fellow redditor.
I still have no idea if twice baked potatoes and refried beans have any link...
family walks into Denny's
Waitress: "Welcome to Denny's! Just five of you today?"
Dad: "Yes, four adults, one child."
Waitress: "Alright, would you like a kids menu today?"
Dad: "No thanks, I just had three. They were delicious."
-_-
Had lunch with a friend. When the waitress came with the check, she mentioned that if we called in and answered a few questions regarding the meal, I could get a free queso.
Without thinking, I said, "Case o' what?"
She looked rather unimpressed. I had to apologize by explaining I was a dad. She remained unimpressed. My friend was on the floor laughing. He's a dad too.
TL;DR - Dad-joked a waitress and won a queso shame.
No! I need them to see
ME: Hi we’re the Millers and we’ll be your customers today.
I told her I wanted it cooked on a stove.
My Dad, every time: "I'm not a very good boxer... but I'll wrestle you for it."
"I'm not much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle you for them."
The kid kept screaming, screeching poorly-articulated profanities at the disinterested father. Over the screaming chaos, the father managed to order a water for himself, and an orange juice for his kid. The waitress came by with the drink, and within moments the kid smashed his cup onto the floor out of pure, unaimed toddler rage, spilling the drink all over the floor and the waitress.
The father apologized, but asked if the gremlin could still have a second orange juice, hoping the kid would miraculously calm down. The waitress conceded despite the terribly behaved toddler, and returned to the shrieking zone with a second orange juice. She had forgotten to clean up the puddle of orange juice however, and slipped. The cup of juice went straight into the kid's face, and like a fire extinguisher to a flame, the kid just went silent, as if a lesson had been learned. Everyone in the restaurant looked at the table in silence.
Juice twice had finally been served.
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
I told her it wasn't difficult. They were right next to my potatoes
Dad: I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
I told her I’d rather wrestle her for it instead
She kicked me out and said “The men I please are none of your business!”
