Story time. Many years ago (doesn't feel that long and I'm getting old) I worked at a silicon wafer plant in Oregon. They were owned by a company in Germany of the same name, Wacker. We had quarterly employee meetings and upper management made an announcement that “We are going to change things to be more like Germany” What they meant was that they were cutting the one benefit we had where we were paid more than the German factory workers.
Now, you have to understand that the company liked to encourage a few employees to travel to the mother company (paid travel) and receive some training on new processes. A few long timers that had been there always talked about how much better and many more benefits the German employees had compared to us here in the states.
Well during the employee meeting about becoming more like Germany, one of the long timers (Kenny) that had already lost his ability to give 2 shits about anything decided to speak up.
Kenny “So since we're going to be more like Germany, we're losing the paid benefit you have talked about, but we're going to be getting 3 more weeks of paid vacation like in Germany?”
Plant supervisor ”No.”
Kenny “We're going to be getting more healthcare paid for?”
Plant supervisor ”No.”
Kenny “We're going to have additional educational benefits?”
Plant supervisor ”No.”
Kenny “We're going to have more rights with regard to being laid off?”
Plant supervisor ”No.”
Kenny “We're going to have more employee representation in plant matters that affect all of us?”
Plant supervisor ”No, and I think that's enough, Kenny.”
Kenny “Can we at least have beer in the cafeteria?”
Plant supervisor ”No.”
I always thought it was a funny interaction, one for the storybooks. Now, it shows me how lopsided things are in this country, how imbalanced and fucked we have things here. We absolutely have to seize the power we have. Maybe we could even get beer in the cafeterias.
Edit /formatting
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
At work, I have a workstation.
edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard
Hey all! Approximately 5 months ago I created a post in here asking for opinions on how to replace our block paving garden with grass, etc. At first, the idea was to have someone do it for us but after getting let down by landscapers not showing up to even provide a quote, we decided to do it ourselves (special thanks to u/badgerfruit for giving us the push to go for it!). We did get a couple of quotes via WhatsApp but they were really high (we think they were really busy anyway to start another job, hence the high quote).
Instead of regular flags, we ended up going for porcelain tiles - they are a lot more expensive but since we were doing the job ourselves we could get higher quality stuff. The job itself was very time consuming as we were learning on the fly, plus it was really hard work as we had no digger, had to move soil and stones from the front of the house to the back (and vice versa), etc.
Replacing block paving with lawn - is it a bad idea? (original post)
Here are the photos of the entire process:
We had to dig out a lot of sand and uneven stones - two large skips in total!
Hardcore after compacting it with a vibrating wacker plate
We started the tile installation in this larger area
We then created a 'pathway' around the lawn perimeter
[Two bulk bags of decorative stones later...](https://preview.redd.it/nw8
... keep reading on reddit ➡
